


To the Hearts Content

by Marty_K75



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: But it takes ages bc Daniel's being difficult, But they're fine later, Emma comes later, F/M, Gen, I don't like him at all, Mainly StableQueen, Marian and Regina are friends, Multi, Not that type of coming, Regina and her daughter fluff, Regina and her son fluff, Regina fluff, Regina has her daughter, Regina is badass, Robin Hood is an asshole, She appears with Henry, Someone dies, You'll probs guess who later, at some point, it's angsty, some of the chapters actually made me feel personally attacked
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-11
Updated: 2018-11-04
Packaged: 2019-01-31 23:36:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 33,776
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12692496
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marty_K75/pseuds/Marty_K75
Summary: After saving the idiots of Storybrooke from Pan, Regina and the rest of the cursed people are returned to a life they had once forgotten. Regina’s life back in the Enchanted Forest is faced with someone she had long thought lost. How will her broken heart cope?





	1. Chapter 1

**_To the Hearts Content_ **

**A Return to the Living**

**0o0**

Fire was beautiful, so very beautiful, a bit like a flower, a wild flower that was beautiful and dangerous but one that stood out from the others. Regina always liked to think that she was like fire, she was beautiful – many people have told her so – and dangerous, with had imperfections; everything she touched burned and crumbled around her, people feared her and didn’t wish to get close. A tear leaked out of her eye, she was fire, fire was put out to save others; she deserved to be put out.

The tightness in her chest got a little more constricting, maybe she should take the corset off, but then it would be awkward for when the owner of the castle found her.

Regina shut her eyes, she wondered what Henry was doing, was he starting a new school? Was he moving into a new room? Was he happy? He probably was happy. For the past two years he had done nothing but reminded Regina that she was not his mother and that he wished for nothing more than for a life with the woman who gave birth to him. He had that now, he was happy with his Evil Queen in the Enchanted Forest breaking under the weight that was pressing down on her shoulders.

“You look tense,” the voice was smooth but at the same time a little croaky as if the person spent years smoking... Regina chuckled at the irony.

The Queen took a swig of the wine bottle she had curled into, “No, not tense, broken,” she answered before taking another deep gulp.

Maleficent sighed, “What happened now?” she asked mockingly, “Did the Charmings say something that upset you?” she mocked further.

Regina realised that perhaps she shouldn’t have come to the castle, especially when she knew Mal held a lot of resentment towards her (rightfully so). She did, after all, keep the only true friend she had hidden in dragon form under a library and then let a stupid blonde go after said friend so that they could cut her stomach open and save a child that didn’t love her. “Daniel is alive,” she deadpanned.

Mal took a step back in shock, “Your Daniel?” she asked in a whisper.

“No, not mine anymore… he moved on,” the pain in Regina’s voice made Maleficent hurt.

“What do you mean?” Mal sat beside her on the other chair, Regina was curled up on the one she had always sat in when talking to Mal; she already had the blanket around her legs and the wine in her hand, occasionally taking a long swig. They’ve done this multiple times already, it comforted both women to know that they could still find a sense of normalcy in each other’s company, even after all that had happened between them.

Regina chuckled darkly, she used her magic to pull the chair Mal was in closer to her and again used magic to make a little table appear, on it was a bottle of whiskey and two glasses, Regina frowned and made another bottle appear, this one of Tequila; she rather liked the alcohol of the other land, it may not have the same kick but it certainly tasted better.

“We’re going to need this,” she poured herself a shot of tequila and downed it before she started talking, “So after I reversed my dark curse that Peter Pan had cast to save Henry, my son, we appeared at a clearing in the Enchanted Forest…”

**0o0**

**Hours earlier**

Regina only opened her eyes after all the smoke left her lungs, she wasn’t a believed of any higher power such as Gods but she prayed, begged anyone who would listen that when she did open her eyes she would see Henry standing before her, or maybe she would end up in her mansion with Henry just down the hall, but none of that happened.

“We’re back,” Snow sighed out.

Regina struggled to keep the tears from falling, she didn’t want anyone to see her weakness, but then again she didn’t want to be in the one place in the world that was filled with dark memories, filled with the reminders of her loss...

She pushed on, ignoring the pain in her chest and reacting with her usual sharp barbs and broken threats. Snow seemed to be having a good time, being reunited with friends and trying to build back the kingdom she had, they’ve only been there an hour and she could see that Snow was enjoying herself as much as she could.

Regina felt like lashing out when Snow wanted all their people to find refuge in her castle, like always Snow ignored that Regina had more right to the kingdom than she did; as long as Regina was alive, she was the Queen.

Yet she didn’t say anything, she kept going, it all hit her so suddenly when they were walking and someone asked her if she wanted to use their horse, at that moment it seemed too fragile of a question. They just got back and everywhere Regina looked she could see the ghosts of a past life, everywhere she looked she either saw something that reminded her of the book and in turn Henry or just Daniel and her youth, it made her hurt. Somehow she managed to decline ‘I should start getting back into Enchanted Forest shape’ she commented, a lie that covered the pain she held (not that anyone cared), Regina had ran every morning before waking Henry for school and before getting Henry she would run for hours through the woods.

The thing that really made her heart hurt enough to want it gone was when Snow said how Henry would have loved the Enchanted Forest. The thought had been in the back of Regina’s mind all day, however, she refused to think about it, but she was, it was the only thing on her mind.

Henry.

All of Henry’s reactions to this land that he had wanted to visit, and then how Henry had wanted to visit the land without her, how he didn’t want anything to do with her and more to do with Ms. Swan. The emotion were all different swirling inside of her, she felt as if someone was stabbing her in the chest, her heart felt as if it was going to stop, it was beating in a lazy beat that made Regina short of breath – so she snuck away and took it out.

Quite the sight it was, the little black ball that kept her alive had fewer light spots shining but the terrifying thing was that here was a light crack in the middle, almost unnoticeable, but Regina knew her heart. Regina didn’t dwell on it much, she found a place she felt like she’d remember and started burying the organ.

Naturally her insipid step-daughter had to find her and talk her out of it, the words had struck a chord inside Regina though. Henry did want her to be happy and that meant having her heart in her chest to actually feel the happiness (She avoided showing Snow the state of the organ). So, despite everything she was low-key feeling, The Evil Queen put her heart back in her chest, held back the tears and started walking; it hurt more that it should, this was bad.

A monkey with wings was the last thing that Regina had _ever_ expected to see in her life. EVER! It was flying without problems too, flying fast, fast enough to dodge her magic. It was out of pure luck that that thief had shown up, he seemed nice enough, a little handsome for a forest dweller. She didn’t trust him. Then again she didn’t really trust anyone.

Regina couldn’t help but question Snow, why would she let a stranger join them? He could be dangerous? She sometimes envied how Snow trusted everyone and couldn’t fathom that someone could have ill intentions against them and their little group.

It didn’t matter anyway, with each step they took closer to the castle Regina was more and more happy, she could hide away in her lonesome misery. Or so she had thought, the idea that someone even _dared_ to take her castle when she was away angered Regina to an extent where she didn’t even recognise herself, this was unacceptable.

She was so deep in her anger and her hatred and the thoughts of ripping that person in half that she almost missed the thief’s offer of taking them to his camp. Only when Snow had given her a little shove did she come back to reality and follow them, maybe a little confused to where they were heading.

She thought that his camp would be… well, she didn’t really know what it would be, it was just a bunch of tents in what seemed like random places but as Regina walked in she saw that they weren’t as random. They were there so that they could protect the camp, men piled out of tents and stood up with weapons pointed at her, all ready to attack.

Yet only one man caught her eye, tall, lanky but with some muscle, his hair slightly greasy but only enough to look as if he had put wax in it to make it stay in place, he looked older, some wrinkles here and there, a young girl stood beside him, and Regina never knew tears could fall from her eyes this fast. The girl was beautiful, with raven hair and blue eyes, just like his.

“D – Daniel?” she stuttered, the camp went silent all eyes on the man in question, shock on every face. The young girl was standing with her eyes fixed on the Evil Queen, she was mesmerised, never before had she thought she’d get to meet her.

Before either could say anything two women appeared both heading for Daniel. One woman had dark skin and was carrying a child with dark curly hair and sun kissed skin, he had deep dimples, she smiled softly at Daniel. The other woman had tan skin and light yellow hair. Regina could see from the way that she was acting around Daniel, a little jittery and nervous, she was blushing as she leaned in and… and kissed Daniel, a little peck on his lips really. But it was enough to make Regina’s heart do a thing it had never done before and she stumbled backwards her hand shooting up to her chest, Regina blindly walked to a tree and stood by it for a moment fighting the pain, it was crippling, like someone was stabbing her over and over and over again.

Everything she had done in her life suddenly seemed pointless, all those people she had killed; she had ruined so many lives, for absolutely no reason. She had tried to do everything to bring back Daniel, only to find out that he was alive all along and with someone else, she needed more than a minute to collect herself.

He was looking at her with an expression Regina didn’t even know how to read, this was someone else. Her Daniel had been just as in love with her as she with him. He probably saw that she was not the woman he fell in love with, that girl had been pure, innocent and had the lightest heart, that girl had become the Evil Queen, she was not someone to be loved, she was someone to be feared. Anger started to build up inside Regina and she found herself talking again, yet it felt like an out of body experience, like she was just someone watching.

Regina turned her nose up on the tents she saw around her, this was no place for a Queen, she was above all those peasants, she scowled at all the faces looking at her, “As if _I_ would be caught dead in a tent in a forest with a group of _thieves_ ,” she spat, “I am not staying here.”

“Well, if you haven’t noticed your Majesty, your castle has been taken, this is the only place you have left,” Robin Hood said.

The Queen turned to look at the Thief, she was shocked that he would actually say something that he thought might change her mind; she could see that no one else wanted her to stay.

“As if I have one palace,” she scoffed, she watched as Snow opened her mouth and started talking again but she didn’t actually hear anything, instead she looked down at her mud covered shoe and groaned, the act actually stopped Snow from talking, “My shoes,” she whines silently, “I need to get new shoes,” she muttered to herself, “I loved these shoes,” she kept saying as she walked out the way she came, “Maybe I could clean it out,” she made another noise, this one sounding as if she was in actual pain, “Leather and water,” she sighed while shaking her head in disapproval.

“Regina!” she stopped walking but was not going to turn around, “Those monkey things are after you, what if something happens.”

Regina turned sharply, “They need to fear me,” she said darkly, “The person in my palace should _fear me_ , you _all should **fear me**_ ,” with each word her voice got more murderous and dark, people close to her took a step back.

“But… what if we get attacked?” Snow asked softly.

Regina rolled her eyes, she reached down to her cleavage and let her fingers stretch the tight material away from her breasts to allow her access to pull out a ring. She held the ring out to David who was standing the closest to her, she let the simple silver band fall from her finger and then grabbed mid-air only for a chain to appear, a chain that was attached to the ring.

“There, now if you need me, just say my name and I shall hear you,” she smirked at the Shepard, “I don’t promise that I will actually turn up,” and with that said, she took one final glance at Daniel and the young girl. Her young features were relaxed into a star-struck look while Daniel’s face screamed guilt and sadness, yet his arms were wrapped around the blonde woman from before she looked scared as Regina scowled at them. She didn’t need to be stupid to know that a romance between her fiancé and some blonde was brewing, The Queen’s scowl slowly morphed into a frown, she hated blondes.

**0o0**

“And after that I came here, there was nowhere else I could really go,” a deep painful sigh left her lip.

“Okay, there’s something else… isn’t there?” Maleficent knew Regina, they spent years together, their relationship may not have been one normal friends have but through the nights that they had spent together they had gotten to know each other, their insecurities and their life. Maleficent may not be able to think like Regina does, sometimes it shocks Mal that Regina still has a pulse after her reckless and stupid actions. The dragon knew her little Queen, one of those things is that no one says no to her. She doesn’t react well to rejection and seeing Daniel with another woman should have brought out a different reaction from her, she would have tried to make him jealous, not run away.

“He was with a girl,” she sighed.

“Yes, a blonde.”

“No,” one more sigh, Regina took a really long gulp of tequila, “Before he died, we… well, we had sex. I didn’t know why I was being sick every morning, I didn’t realise anything was wrong until the day before he died mother had asked me why I skipped my monthly bleed… twice,” she looked down at her hands, “I was going to tell Daniel when we were far away enough from the estate,” tears were collecting in her eyes.

“Tell him what?” Mal already knew though, she just needed to hear it from Regina, she knew that the Queen probably spent hours trying to forget, years trying to stop the pain in her heart.

“I was pregnant,” tears actually leaked out of Regina’s eyes. Mal wasn’t sure when the last time she saw Regina cry was, probably when Leopold was still alive and married to her, “She’s so beautiful Mal, I saw her, it took me a minute to fully recognise who she was but… she’s so beautiful,” a sound that was half sob half laugh came out of her mouth, “She looks just like me, very little Daniel in her, maybe the height, she was tall for a fourteen year old. But she’s still so beautiful,” the Queen took a few calming breaths and then wiped her eyes.

Mal smiled, she was going to keep talking about it but she heard footsteps leading to the room they were in.

“You don’t mind, I invited someone,” Regina stood just as the door opened to reveal their partner in crime.

“Scar,” Mal drawled out.

Scar smirked, he sure did miss his favourite Queen and her pet dragon. Scar was a tall man with very pale skin, incredibly pale, he rarely had any reason to go out in the sunshine, not since Regina had moved to the other world anyway. He was also skinny, his black hair reaching his shoulder the top sleeked back and a little dark stubble at his chin that brought out the shape of his jaw, dark bushy eyebrows hid pretty green eyes and a long ugly scar running through his eye. Scar was a handsome man who, much like Regina, had a permanent scowl on his face, Mal always joked that they were too much alike.

“Shall we drink?”

**0o0**

**After the Queen Left the Merry Men Camp**

The camp was still engulfed in silence long after the Queen left. There was no movement, no one spoke, even the children sat frightened.

“For years you had refused every woman because you were so sure that _the one_ would return to you, and the day that she does return you are with someone else?” Robin Hood had a frown of his face as he looked at Daniel. He had found Daniel almost thirteen years ago with a baby and no place to go, he had helped the man, he had taken him in and in turn Daniel took care of the horses.

Daniel didn’t move, Regina, he had seen her, she was still so beautiful, he looked at the place that she had stood not knowing what to do, this was Regina, his Regina and… he didn’t really know what to think.

“Daniel?” Snow took a step away from David, her voice shaking a little, she couldn’t believe it, it was Daniel, he stood, flesh and blood, breathing and being alive, “But, how?”

“Cora, she didn’t actually kill me she just, she knew about Natalia and she gave her to me after Regina gave birth to her,” he spoke fast but still turned to look at his daughter after mentioning her. She was such a beautiful young girl, looked just like her mother at that age, and he knew, she was around fourteen when they met.

Snow gasped, “Regina gave birth?!” she stared wide eyes at Natalia, the girl was beautiful, looked very much like Regina, only a fool would miss it, “Hello,” Snow smiled at her in awe, “You look just like her.”

Natalia blushed and looked down, “Thank you,” she smiled innocently back at Snow, “I’m Natalia.”

Snow almost cried as she looked at the girl, “You’re too much like Regina for your own good,” the way Natalia had spoken, it was almost like being back on that runaway horse and being saved by a wonderful and kind woman.

Once again the young girl blushed, yet there was a troubled frown on her beautiful young forehead, “Why’d… why don’t I get you a tent, I’m sure you’re tired,” she lead Snow to a tent and that’s when life returned to the camp.

.::.

It was hours later when they were all huddled around the fire that someone came running in yelling about being attacked, Hood stood bow at the ready, “They must have followed us,” yet no one attacked from between the trees, no one jumped from the trees, beasts swooped down from above, horrible beasts, one that Snow and Hood knew. It was the flying monkeys that attacked Regina.

The flying beasts were swooping down, they didn’t attack anyone it seemed as if they were looking for something… or someone… Daniel thought grimly, he knew from Robin that those things had attacked Regina once already.

Snow stood off to the side hitting one monkey after the other with her newly acquired bow and arrow, she had just shot one down when she noticed another flying at high speed towards Natalia. Snow knew that Regina would quite literally sacrifice everyone in that camp to make sure her daughter was okay.

She shot the monkey down and then ran as fast as she could to the young girl, she was hiding behind a tree, Snow was half way when she remembered that Regina gave them a way to contact her, David had given her the necklace and she had put it around her neck, the princess reached for it and frantically screamed into it calling out for Regina.

“Are you alright?” she panted once she got close to the young girl, she seemed scared and disoriented, “Don’t worry, I called your mum she should be here soo-” Snow didn’t get to finish her sentence because a booming roar filled the camp, everything stilled, all the flying beasts were suspended in the air and couldn’t move, in the very middle was a lion, with a long black mane and a scar running down from his eyebrow, through his green eye and down to its cheek. Snow was too focused on watching the majestic cat and only noticed that the sky was darker when she started feeling too hot. Looking up at the sky both Snow and Natalia gasped, the monkeys were literally burning to a crisp and above them, incredibly high up was a dragon.  

Maleficent circled the perimeter to make sure all the beasts were gone, she also made sure that there was nothing more coming their way. She knew that Scar was supposed to do that but she didn’t quite trust him, then again she didn’t _quite_ trust _anyone_.

Once they both decided that it was safe they turned back into people and without a word made their way to Natalia; Regina wasn’t joking when she said the girl looked like her, it was quite weird really.

Mal marched up to the girl who was sitting on a log close to a fire, they had been checking the perimeter for a few minutes, but it was enough time for everyone to settle down, there were people being checked by medicine men and people just resting or eating; Mal could smell that there were some people in their tents.

Scar stood a little behind Mal and watched in a brooding type of silence as she made the girl rise by gently tugging on her shoulder. Most people who weren’t doing anything watched in a fearful silence.

Mal used her senses to make sure that she was okay, she had made sure that her blood was pumping okay (it was a little fast but that’s because the girl was scared), then that there were no broken bones, she was about to turn her around when she heard Scar shout, “Holy baby Jesus, we are both dead.”

“What did you do?”

“I did nothing,” he shouted incredulously, he gripped Natalia by the shoulders and turned her around so that she was looking at Scar, “But Regina, Regina is going to _kill_ us,” there, right at the base of Natalia’s head, was what looked like a deep cut, blood oozing out of it and dripping onto her clothes.

Maleficent looked at the young girl’s head in shock, when she had arrived she had tried scanning through all the people to find Regina’s daughter, it was fairly simple, not only did the girl smell similarly to Regina but she also looked so much like Regina it felt like she was actually looking at Regina herself, “How did this happen?” she felt around her head to see if there was anything jammed inside.

“I don’t know, I think I passed out, I remember daddy telling me to hide and then I think I hit my head on a rock or a tree because the next thing I remember is squatting and Princess Snow running at me,” Natalia said slowly as if she was trying to remember what happened.

“Oh god, honey how many fingers am I holding up?” Scar put up a few fingers in front of the girls face.

“Three,” she said in a dead tone.

Mal chuckled, “You said that with all the boredom as Regina.”

“She’s also giving me that look Regina has when she’s talking to an idiot,” Scar mumbled, he started examining the girls head.

“You mean the one that is permanently etched on her face?” Mal smirked.

Scar didn’t answer her, “Are you feeling dizzy?” he asked Natalia instead.

“A little,” she shrugged.

“Are you going to be sick?”

“I don’t think so, no.”

“Were you sick?”

“Yes.”

“Are you sleepy?”

“A little.”

“She has a concussion, oh no, do you know what that means?” he looked at Mal with a slightly scared look, “Regina is going to give us a concussion… before she **rips us to pieces**!” he overreacted, “We are two dead people walking around, the minutes she sees the blood she is going to heal her and then she is going to kill us, we won’t even have time to explain because we will be in inexplicable pain. Oh no, Regina can make killing someone last _days_ , literally, I’ve seen her do it once, we are going to be dying for 7 days. Then, you know, because Regina is all chummy with Hades we are going to be tortured for eternity, damn,” he kept going on and on about how they should start digging their grave and whatnot.

“Scar,” Mal sighed, he kept talking, “Scar,” it was like he didn’t even hear her, “SCAR!” she shouted, “Pull yourself together, we’re not going to die.”

“Are you sure? Because Regina said ‘one hair off her perfect head out of its place and I will make you entire life feel like a smoothly sailed cruise’, I would call this,” he indicated to Natalia’s head still bleeding a little, most of it seemed to have stopped, “A hair on her perfect head out of its place.”

“Scar, Regina’s not going to do anything, because she won’t know,” Mal grinned.

Scar didn’t seemed relieved, “We both know that she knows _everything_ , there is no way she doesn’t know that her child has a concussion,” he deadpanned.

“We heal her then,” Mal ordered the girl to sit on a log and she gave her some tea that would help with the headache, then she told Scar to go find some herbs in the woods.

Scar turned into his lion form and ran off, he wasn’t gone long and when he returned it was with the herbs Mal needed. She grinded them together, added some water and then some dirt until it looked like a paste.

“What is that?” Natalia asked apprehensively.

“Combined with my magic it will be able to heal your head and probably stop the headache, I actually haven’t done this without Regina walking me through it so just…” Mal finished off somewhat hesitantly.

“My…m-” Nat cut herself off, but with the encouraging smile she received from her father who was sitting close by making sure that she was okay and the little smirk at the corner of Maleficent’s face she continued a little quietly, “My mother taught you this?” she looked at her hands as they fiddled with her trousers.

“Yes, as powerful as we are, healing magic has to come from… love, I couldn’t heal myself until I accepted my dragon part, Regina still can’t heal herself, she doesn’t like being the Evil Queen because it ruined her but she doesn’t stop because she knows that the darkness in her heart can’t be removed,” Mal was glad she didn’t have to look the girl in the eyes she wouldn’t have been able to cope with the tears of sadness that gleamed in Natalia’s eyes.

“It’s a price for every life we take, Regina had taken a lot of them. And after the life that she had lived she doesn’t believe that people deserve her remorse, people don’t deserve her love and people don’t deserve her. She’s a good person, but she has a destructive streak,” Scar looked down, when he had first met Regina it was as King Scar, he could see that Regina was going in a downward spiral and she had seduced him and he foolishly fell for her purred words and dark eyes.

Natalia winced, her hand shot up to her head and she felt around for the tender ripped skin, to her utter delight she couldn’t find the cut and smiled widely at Maleficent, “Thank you,” her eyebrows crinkled in sincerity.

“I can’t believe how much alike to Regina you look,” Mal mused, every little thing the young girl did it was as if Regina was the one doing it instead.

“Oh, Regina!” Scar exclaimed, “She was meant to show up here too, Mal would you…”

Mal rolled her eyes but flicked her wrist all the same, a little tent appeared off to the side of a tree, she marched over to the tent and right inside, she was in there for only a couple seconds before she ran out, “She’s not in there, she must have left my castle after us,” Mal sat on a log and waved her hand towards the fire.

“What are you doing?” One of the Merry Men asked, his tone was filled with curiosity.

“I’m going to see where The Queen had gone,” the Dragon rolled her eyes, she really should have expected it from Regina; she hated doing anything that even resembled being helpful.

“You’re going to spy on the Evil Queen,” another, much larger, Merry Man chuckled.

Mal joined along in a sarcastic manner just as Regina’s Stable Boy scolded the man for calling the Queen, Evil.

The fire started crackling way above the trees, there was an image being made, it was large, the fire changed colours, slowly they could make out what was happening, the image was distorted only slightly but still clearly visible. They could see the Queen sitting down somewhere with a pipe between her lips, her chest inflated with a breath and smoke puffed out in beautiful tendrils from her full lips, she relaxed after another puff, her features softened, the frown disappeared and her eyes closed as her hand went to her left breast, she then dropped her hand and started talking.

“What is that? What is she doing?” Daniel asked.

“She’s in her castle, and that pipe just so happens to contain a drug from Wonderland,” Mal sighed, “I hope she’s not going to return to that again,” she sighed and made the fire go back to normal, “We can probably head to her castle soon.”

**0o0**


	2. The Good Witch of the West

**The Good Witch of the West**

**0o0**

Regina didn’t really wait long to leave Maleficent’s castle after Mal and Scar left, she just told them to make sure her daughter was alright and then bid them goodbye.

Regina poofed herself into the woods, all she needed to do was use her magic to lift the enormous rock and then put it back after she entered the secret entrance to her castle.

She had learnt of it many years ago, when she tried running away from the King, it was this way she often went when she wanted some peace, sometimes she went that way when she went to meet her lovers in the woods; those were fun times, she thought fondly. After Leopold’s _tragic_ death she had changed a lot of things about the castle, she had her magic to assist her and so she used it to add more rooms, destroy some things, and make doors that would only open for her and only her.

After a bit of wondering the halls, she was in her bedroom in no time. She started taking out her shisha and the drug that she got from Wonderland, soon she was taking deep puffs of it into her lungs and humming as the smoke filled her lungs and eased the pain her heart was causing her.

“I remember someone telling me you had a substance abuse issue once upon a time,” an accented voice said.

“This isn’t me abusing anything,” she leaned back in the chair taking a deep breath and then blowing out the smoke, “It’s for the pain,” Regina’s voice came out too croaky for her liking.

“Pain?” the voice sounded extremely worried, the woman stepped out of the shadow, she was pretty, orange hair, milky white skin, piercing blue eyes, “I’m Zelena,” she said softly, “Your sister,” she stated firmly, almost proudly.

“I guessed, my crypt was open. Are you here to kill me?” The Queen closed her eyes.

“No, no of course not, I’ve been waiting to be reunited with you,” Zelena slowly walked to Regina who was still inhaling the drug through the shisha, “I know you can’t remember, but that’s because mother took your memory of me, her guards were supposed to give me a memory potion but I fought them off,” without warning she grabbed the Queen’s hand and closed her eyes hoping that what she had learnt from the witches of Oz would be enough to reverse the memory spell that their mother had placed upon her little sister.

**0o0**

_Regina knew that she wasn’t allowed to play with her mother’s things, she had been told many times that there would be consequences of meddling in her mother’s stuff. But she desperately **needed** the wand so that she could save herself from the dragon and find her prince._

_Eight year old minds were funny like that, Cora had taught her that only magic could **hurt** bad enough to stop someone from doing something they didn’t want them to, magic was a way to manipulate the mind; pain was a way to manipulate the mind._

_Regina had performed magic only a couple times in her life, she remembers it came to her instinctively and she didn’t really need to think about it very hard, that was until her mother had taken the ability away from her. She had given her a potion that would bind her magic and only open it again when she was ‘of age’ whatever that meant…_

_The young girl was never very good at using other objects with her magic, which explained why the magic in the wand backfired and why Regina only saw darkness, the last thing she heard was her mother’s frantic cry of her name…_

.::.

_Zelena gasped at the lavish manor; she had never really been in one like this. The woman, Cora, she reminded herself, had said that her daughter needed her help, that her daughter was a princess from a far land; Zelena had also never been to another land. She had heard stories of the Enchanted Forest and she must say that she was impressed, especially with the amount of magic she could feel coursing through every tree and river._

_Regina, Cora’s daughter, was six years younger than Zelena, and she was a rather adorable eight year old, she had a straight nose and darker skin that Zelena had ever seen, it reminded her of caramel, it was pretty, Regina also had soft ravel curls which stuck in all sorts of different directions and a little scar at the corner or her mouth, it settled on her lip giving her character and adding to her youthful beauty. On the bed she looked like she was sleeping, her little eyes were closed and she was covered by a pretty purple blanket, Zelena knew that that was not the case, with each breath that Regina took, the rises of her chest were shorter and smaller._

_Zelena knew she had to save her._

_She didn’t listen to Lady Cora as she spoke, instead she felt. She let the magic take its course, tendrils of green lightning flowed like a river out of Zelena’s hands and into Regina’s little body. Sweat gathered on her brow, her ginger locks stuck to her skin but Zelena pushed on, she would save this girl._

_Before long, Regina took a deep breath in, scared brown eyes flicked across Zelena’s face. Before she could say anything strong arms wrapped around the young princess and Regina cuddled closer into her father’s arms with a gleeful cry of ‘ **Papi** ’. _

_“Thank you,” Lady Cora said, her bony hand resting on Zelena’s shoulder._

.::.

_“Would you like to play with me?” Regina asked bashfully._

_Zelena gaped at the young girl, she was too old to play but Regina’s innocent eyes were shining bright with hope and really, who could say no to those eyes?_

_So Zelena smiled and nodded, “Sure, what are we playing?” she asked._

_Regina jumped up in joy grabbing the older girl’s hand and dragging her from the guest room and into her own room._

.::.

_Zelena should have known that the woman had an ulterior motive, or at least a reason as to how she found her, or why she chose **her**. _

_Sisters._

_She was Regina’s **sister**. She had never really wanted a sister, always thought that if she did then chances were the younger child would have either been treated better or worse and Zelena didn’t really know which she preferred. _

_Regina wasn’t really treated better than her, from what Zelena had heard the girl tell her, Cora was a straight up bitch, she either beat or used magic against the girl, Regina had even mentioned that Cora would lock her in dark room which had started a deep fear of darkness for the young girl._

_As Zelena was being pulled away from her sister, kicking and screaming, she vowed that she would return, she would find her sister and she would save her from the horrid woman that was their mother._

_As Zelena used her magic against a guard and fell through the portal, she knew that Regina was going to be in trouble._

**0o0**

Regina gasped at the feeling of the magic, it seemed familiar, the goodness flowing through her and unlocking her mind, Regina knew that living her whole life with Cora, some memories that she possessed had to be a lie, had to have been replaced or altered. And now as Zelena let her mind free from the lock, she saw how she almost died if it weren’t for the woman before her, she saw how her mother let them get close before ripping the sister she never knew she had (but desperately wanted) away.

Regina didn’t say anything for what seemed like forever, she just inhaled the smoke from the shisha, at one point she placed a hand on her chest and let it rest just above her heart counting the beats it made to make sure that the numbness the drug was inducing wouldn’t stop her heart, the good thing about it was that she didn’t feel the pain any more. After making sure that it was still beating she spoke, “I don’t know what to say,” she had a frown on her face.

Zelena smiled at the crinkle in her sister’s brow and the pout on her lips, it was just as she remembers it being, all adorable, but this time it was no longer innocent, it was filled with the burden of a life filled with pain.

The witch had always wanted to find her again after that eventful day, it was always hard especially when Rumple had come and told her that her sister was Queen, Zelena was embarrassed to say that she had spied on Regina, that she felt a jealousy that ran straight to her core at how her sister had gotten everything, but then she remembered that Regina didn’t really have anything. What she had seen through her years of spying had made her heart burn, through the years she had looked in on her sister, made sure that she was alive, she would have gone to see her but the Dark One had put a spell on Zelena one that made her unable to leave Oz. She still doesn’t know how she escaped, if Glinda hadn’t helped her she would most likely still be watched her sister through the magic of Oz.

Regina was silent for a long moment, she didn’t know what to say to her sister, it was so surreal and she found that the pain in her heart had lessened a little, instead of saying anything she did something very much out of character and launched herself at the sister she missed.

Zelena was slightly taken aback when she felt her sister’s arms wrap around her and hold her close, her younger sister’s tears were dampening her dress, Zelena didn’t really care she held her sister and rocked her until she was calmer.

“Are you alright?” she wiped the tears off with her thumb.

“As alright as expected, I suppose,” Regina felt weird, she had these memories of a great friend and sister and she could feel that the child inside of her wanted nothing more than to jump in joy and keep her sister with her at all times, but the grown woman who had lost too much wanted to keep her at arms-length and deny crying on her shoulder. She was determined to blame it solely on the fact that her heart was breaking.

“I know you, you’re not alright, talk to me, please,” Zelena tried smiling reassuringly at her baby sister, this must be odd for the other woman, she never really had anyone to care for her like she does, maybe she could teach her that it was okay to trust someone.

Despite the memory Regina had returned to her, she had been through enough in her life for her to develop trust issues and that was why she did not tell her sister what was truly going on, she doubted she would have told Mal (she had confided in her dragon friend multiple times, but this was one thing the dragon didn’t need to know) this was her burden. So instead she just talked to her sister, talked about what happened in the curse, she told her about Daniel (who Zelena knew about, that was an awkward conversation, finding out her sister had been pretty much stalking her for her whole life), and her daughter (she didn’t know her name, but she expects that Daniel named her Natalia, they had talked about it once, under the cover of the night in a bliss that had made Regina’s heart soar – she misses those day – the name originated from her father’s tongue, one that she had learnt before English, one that is also in the land without magic, Spanish), and then they had gone to sleep.

Regina was grateful, she hadn’t slept in about 2 days, maybe more, she didn’t actually know how many days they’ve been back, it was all messed up somewhere between losing her son and finding out that her true love was alive and with someone else, her daughter was raised by said true love, she has a sister she had already met and forgotten because of their mother, everything was making her heart hurt even more and she just wanted to lie down for a little moment. Just to sleep off the pain.

**0o0**

Maleficent had woken up bright and early, and decided that she would start making preparations for everyone to be ready for the journey to Regina’s castle. She didn’t actually know what to start with so she decided that breakfast was a great idea, but the second she left her tent she saw that she was late, there was a table in the middle of the camp with food piling up on it. Mal decided to get dressed into something more appropriate instead.

When she left her tent for the second time there were people digging into the food, it seemed that no one was going to ask any questions about why a table filled with food just appeared out of nowhere.

“Mal,” Scar waved at the dragon, she walked over to him and sat when he gave her a pointed look, “There’s a note for you,” he handed her a little piece of parchment with her name written across it in neat royal writing.

“Regina,” she muttered to herself, upon opening the note she chuckled.

“What is it?” young Natalia asked hesitantly.

“It’s your mother,” Mal realised that she probably shouldn’t be referring to Regina as such around the girl because it might break her heart when Regina ignores her, and there’s a high chance that she will, Regina doesn’t really know how to do that whole emotions thing so there’s truly no telling how she would act around Natalia. Also Regina had ridiculously erratic behaviour, she was impulsive and cruel when hurt.

“What does she say?” Snow asked, effectively snapping Maleficent out of her thoughts.

“Oh, em,” she glanced down at the note again, “Make sure she doesn’t have a headache,” she chuckled, of course Regina would know that Natalia was hurt.

“I told you she knew everything!” Scar hissed beside her around his mouth filled with ham and bread.

Mal shook her head, “She signed it, _Satan’s Mistress_ ,” she muttered to herself with a chuckle.

“Does that mean that she did in fact seduce Hades?” Scar asked.

Mal rolled her eyes, “No, Satan and Hades are two different Gods. This is just an inside joke,” they both stifled laugh at that, ‘inside joke’ was an inside joke about Leopold, Regina once mentioned that ‘every time he’s inside me, that’s a joke’, and ever since they would laugh at that because they knew that any memory Regina had of Leopold was one of pain and fear and anger.

“So all this food, it’s from the Queen?” Hood asked, a young child was sitting on his lap talking to a lady that looked a lot like him, probably his mother.

“Well, do you think that Regina would let her child eat poor people food?” Mal rose a brow.

The thief shrugged, “I suppose not.”

They spent the rest of their breakfast planning who would go to the Queen’s castle and what they would take, there was a lot of arguing. Apparently a lot of the previous Kings and Queens had already gotten back to their castles and villagers had gone home, which made a lot of the villagers that had accompanied Snow also leave for their home, Snow had promised that if they needed anything they just needed to go to the castle. That lead to Scar pointing out that Regina was still the Queen and unless she died that’s how it would be for a while.

After much arguing they all manged to come to a consensus, Snow and David and their fan group would go to the castle, as would Mal and Scar, Natalia and Daniel would and then all the Merry Men agreed that they too would join them, there was a group of peasants that also decided to join the princess and a small group of royals.

“Regina is not going to enjoy this,” Mal said once everyone was ready to leave.

Snow sighed, “She’ll have to learn to live with it.”

**0o0**

They were just outside of the palace and apparently the magical dome protecting the castle had not been lifted which had prompted Scar to turn into his lion form and charge at it many times until he ran right through.

The walk to the castle was quite relaxing, the cool morning filled with the sound of birds chirping and people muttering, some sleepily and some with all the energy in the world, the children ran around, and Natalia, she couldn’t help that she was a little slow. Well, a little slow was an understatement, she was at the very, very back of the trail with the few people that were older or just out of shape.

She was nervous, Natalia had lived her entire life knowing that her mother was the Evil Queen, she knew from the moment that she could talk that her mummy wasn’t with her because she had been separated from her true love, Nat’s father, and became Queen instead. Her father had made sure to remind Natalia that her mother loved her more that she could love even him, that Nat was the only true love Regina would have wanted. Later when Nat had grown into a young woman, as her father liked to call her, he told her the true events of what had happened, he told her that her grandmother didn’t approve of the low status her father lived by and that she had ‘killed’ him, that the woman who shared her blood had taken her from her mother. So, yes, Natalia was nervous because the woman who was her mother had lived her entire life not being Nat’s mother and what if she didn’t want to be? What if she wouldn’t want to be-

“She loves you very much, you shouldn’t be worried,” the smooth yet slightly croaky voice of the dragon rang to her ears.

Nat swallowed, “I’m not worried,” she spoke as evenly as she could.

“You are very much like your mother,” Mal said with a fond smile.

“W-Are you close to her?” she asked hesitantly.

Mal smiled thinking of the times she would help relax the Queen with what Regina would claim to be the best tongue in the world, she thought about the times Regina would talk to her when there was something that really bothered her, “Yes, I suppose we are. I’m her only friend.”

“Only?”

“Regina doesn’t really know how to communicate with people without hurting them or their feelings.”

Before Nat could further question the dragon she realised that the group had stopped, two men in dark shiny metal stood tall and proud before them.

“I am Princess Snow White, daughter of King Leopold the fourth, and Queen Eva the first, step aside,” Snow demanded.

Neither of the guards moved aside for Snow or David, others yelled out their titles, Princess Aurora tried as did her Prince Phillip, and Katheryn who was actually Abigale, many people tried even Robin Hood who used his birth title Robin, Prince of Locksley. Nothing made them move or even acknowledge the people.

“You try,” Mal nudged Nat forward.

The girl looked beyond panicked and scared, shaking her head and gripping the dragon’s hand, “Can’t you do it?” she whispered furiously.

“No, but I’ll tell you what to say, just be brave.”

Nat nodded and stepped forward with Maleficent right behind her, “I am Princess…” Mal started.

Nat swallowed and started talking in the bravest way she could, “I am Princess Natalia Mills, daughter of the mighty Evil Queen, Regina, and you _shall_ get out of my way!”

The knights looked towards each other, then at the girl, they studied her young features and compared them to those of the Queen, she had the same face shape, round but square, nose straight and that little beauty mark at the corner of her lips.

Mal muttered something into the girls ear, Natalia nodded, swallowed once again and snarled, “I said, NOW!” she demanded.

They still looked unsure.

“If you’re so unsure why don’t you call the girl’s mother, I’m sure the Queen would _love_ to hear about the two incompetent idiots that didn’t let her daughter into her own home,” Mal said in a bored tone, but the knights knew that they were in deep shit, mummy dearest would blow them to pieces, they both dropped on their knees and allowed the group entry. 

“You, Natalia Mills, are a star,” Daniel hugged his daughter tightly as they all followed Snow to the main dining hall of the palace.

Upon entry they realised that someone was sitting at a table eating, they weren’t alone, and they weren’t Regina.

“Who are you?” David called, his sword at the ready.

“Where is the Queen?” Daniel called also, a bow pointed at the man.

“My name is Zelena,” the woman with red hair said calmly, “Regina’s sleeping, she pretty much collapsed after she got here yesterday,” the man walked up to her, “This is my husband, Hugh,” she introduced.

Maleficent stepped forward, “How do we know you didn’t just kill Regina?” she knew Regina wasn’t easy to kill, but still…

“I would never harm my sister!” Zelena exclaimed in outrage.

“Sister?”

“Yes, from Cora’s side, she threw me away because I was in the way of her becoming Queen.”

“Sounds like Cora,” Scar muttered.

“I wish to see Regina, prove to me that she is okay,” Mal demanded.

Zelena shrugged but still waved her hand to make Regina, and her bed, appear in the dining hall.

“She was there, I swear!” Zelena looked frantic at the sight of the empty bed.

“It’s empty,” Mal stated, eyes wide in shock, she believed this _Zelena_ , anyone could fake being frantic but not to the extent she was doing it in, she waved her hand making the bed disappear back to Regina’s room, “Regina never wakes up unless she _absolutely_ has to, and even then it’s a struggle for her and a nightmare for anyone around.”

“I remember,” someone in the back started, a light airy tone in his masculine voice, Mal turned to see that it was Regina’s stable boy, he had this look, like he was a million miles away, in another life, in another world altogether. He smirked to himself, a light thing filled with pain and adoration, “When I started working at the stable I was originally supposed to be working mornings, my uncle was her riding teacher. Her first riding lesson she pretty much stomped into the stable, glaring at everyone. Do you know that unimpressed thing she does, where she cocks her head to the side, puffs out a breath and just stares at you as if you were the stupidest person in the whole forest? She did that to me and my uncle… and a horse, it was,” he stopped talking and shook his head, remembering how everything he did after that was a thoroughly thought out step that would, hopefully, impress her, “She didn’t even finish the lesson, she all but passed out on some hay,” he chuckled out, eyes watering slightly, he was leaning against a door smiling foolishly, a small hand engulfed Daniel’s before he could continue saying anything else, he looked down and was met with light hazel eyes that belonged to Rose.

Silence engulfed the group, for long moment no one spoke or moved, everyone was transfixed on Daniel, most thinking the same thing; how could anyone love the Evil Queen? Yet there, right before them, stood proof that she could in fact be loved, loved enough to produce a child and _love_ enough to kill for said man and child (by that time everyone knew who Daniel was and why Maleficent was worried about the girl, Natalia. They now all knew the story of Regina and Daniel and why the Queen became evil and developed a thirst for vengeance).

Suddenly a loud bang had brought people back to reality, a thin figure glided through the now open door, tall only because of the high heels that clicked a steady rhythm against the ground, her small waist exaggerated because of the tight and dark material that pretty much clung to her skin, embroidered with shiny dark emeralds, the corset showed off a generous amount of cleavage that seemed almost as if it would pop out.

The Queen had entered the dining hall, she wasn’t alone, a thick metal chain was held delicately between her fingers, attached to the chain was a man, tall compared to the tiny woman leading him, but frailer with the injuries, there was a trail of dried blood trickling down from his eyebrow, his nose looked broken, and his arm, it was _dangling_ obviously no longer attached at the shoulder.

No one made a sound, no one moved a muscle, most people covered by the door, they seemed to have shuffled into a corner, most huddled together to not be noticed by the Queen who was dragging her prisoner along with her, yet she didn’t seem to be interested in them.

Zelena was watching her little sister, the same sister who once believed in good, the same one who wanted to be happy and nothing like her mother. Zelena remembered a little girl who wished to have a true love and a happy family, yet now she stood miserable and with, what appeared to be, a hostage. Zelena should have been there for her sister, she should have been there, The Good Witch of the West should have helped prevent the creation of the Evil Queen, yet she didn’t, and in that moment she promised that she would help Regina redeem herself.


	3. Mirror, Mirror on the Wall...

**Mirror, Mirror on the Wall…**

**0o0**

Regina tugged a little harder on the chain, “Hurry dear, I want to have breakfast _today_ ,” she rolled her eyes.

“Whatever you think my mother had apparently stolen from you, I can assure you that you are mistaken,” he said in a somewhat tired tone.

“Are you calling me a liar?” Regina stopped walking, her tone going dangerously calm and smooth.

The man swallowed, his mouth hung open slightly, “I- n… my mother is a _good_ witch, she wouldn’t take anything from anyone,” he said with conviction.

“Oh, dear boy,” Regina walked closer to him, her hand smoothing out his dark hair, “Eliot,” she let his name roll off her tongue in a soft hum that made a shiver rise up his back, “May I call you that, Eliot?” her tone soft, sounding almost innocent, yet the look in her eye made Eliot think that there was no room for discussion, if she wanted to call him Evelyn or Ellie, she probably would, even if he protested. “Listen, my dear _Eliot_ ,” she mocked him with his own name “Your mother has stolen something that I have had since my _Beloved Husband’s tragic passing_ , I need it, you don’t understand how much.”

Eliot looked into her deadly brown eyes, “So what are you going to do? Torture me until they return it?” he huffed a laugh, yet he was shaking in fear. Eliot, just like every other man, woman, and child from the Enchanted Forest, had heard of the Evil Queen, she was a force to be reckoned with and if she was to torture him he knew for a fact that that wouldn’t be a pleasant experience.   

“Oh, you think a couple broken bones is _torture_? No,” she spoke softly, her words silent, people strained their ears to hear what she had to say, “If I were to torture you I would lock you in a room, a room with no window, no human contact, no natural light, a candle and perhaps a cot to keep you comfortable,” she dragged her fingers against his dislocated shoulder in a soft manner, once again Eliot trembled, “I would leave you to entertain yourself, occasionally I would feed you,” she lifted her hand to trace the trail of blood on his face, her body pressed against his, “I would leave you for a few moons, then I would give you nightmares, ones where _you_ destroy the ones you love,” her fingertips gently grazed his face as they descended down to his neck, “I would make you feel trapped in your dreams, forced to watch all the different ways in which I would kill your family, in which _you_ would kill your family,” she placed her hand over his heart, “If I were to torture you it wouldn’t be by physical pain, everyone knows that you get used to that,” she tapped her other hand against his temple, “But psychological pain, things that hit home,” she smirked, “Everyone knows that I like to target **hearts** ,” she growled as she slowly and torturously seeped her hand into his chest and gripped his heart, she didn’t remove it from his body though, instead the Queen made him feel the pulse of her hand squeezing lightly onto it, “Do you want to know who taught me that?” she asked rhetorically, “My mother,” she growled out, “If I were you I would keep quiet, speak when you are spoken to and do not question me again. Understood?!”

He muttered something that sounded very similar to a confirmation, yet Regina still growled at him angrily if he understood what she was talking about, “Yes, Your Majesty,” he howled out.

Almost immediately she pulled her hand out of his chest and her entire form seemed to soften, but he knew that was just something she did, now he knew.

“Great, shall we eat now?” she asked with a wide threatening smile.

Eliot nodded in fear of angering her again, he didn’t really know what she wanted from him, and he was probably some sort of bargaining chip that would ensure his mother gave her what she wanted.

Regina turned around in a swift motion, her hand now pulling a little more forcefully onto the chain that was attached to Eliot’s throat. She flicked her wrist in a bored motion making food appear on the table. She sat at a large dark chair, it was wooden with some golden flecks in it, for some reason they made her eyes shine just a little bit less dangerously.

“Eat up dear,” she glanced at him from the corner of her eye, he was standing beside her looking up towards the door, “Come, sit, eat. I’m not a barbarian, I will feed you,” she rolled her eyes when he didn’t move and made a grab for the wine, pouring a generous amount in a beautiful metal chalice. Before taking a sip Regina dipped her index finger into the cup and then softly traced the rim of the cup, once, twice three times, and then on the fourth circle it let out a soft humming sound and that prompted Regina to take a sip.

“What was that she just did?” Natalia asked Maleficent, her eyes were transfixed onto the Queen in awe. She still hadn’t noticed that there were people in the castle so she hadn’t said anything, she was sitting with a sort of calmness that ensured chaos was going to happen.

“Checking if her drink was poisoned,” Mal whispered back.

Regina lifted her chalice to take a drink and that’s when she noticed the group of people hidden in the corner by the large wooden doors, her hand stopped mid sip and slowly as if spooked like an animal she set down her drink, eyes wide. Regina muttered something under her breath everyone had strained their ears to hear.

“What?” Scar said in irritation.

“There are people in my castle,” she repeated, “Why are there people in my castle?!” she shouted in anger, “Don’t you have other places to be, other people to annoy,” she stood abruptly, the chain attached to Eliot wrapped securely around her wrist, “I promise to mind my own business, now get out!” she shouted.

Snow took a step closer to say something, but instead it was the voice of an outlaw that echoed through the room, “Let the man go and we will talk,” he stood forward with his bow aimed at her.

For her part, Regina didn’t look bothered at all, actually, she sat back down and took a sip of that wine. Her lips pursed and she cocked her head to the side as if considering something, “No,” she purred out.

A shiver raced down the thief’s back, it seemed that her answer had pushed him to take action and he took a step away from the group, “This man is innocent, you will let him go.”

Regina smirked, “This man is not innocent,” she stood once more, leaning her arms on the table, her already busting bust popped out more because of the way that she rested her arms, the action prompted Hood to glance down, Regina smirked again _men are weak_ , “He wanted to be here,” she spoke in a soft tone, “He had begged me to _come_ here. Will you beg?” she asked suggestively, by no means did she seduce Eliot, but if she did spend the entire night in a brothel waiting for the young man to appear and then talked to him for a little to get him to beg her to take him with her… well, how could she resist…

“Robin,” It was Maid Marian, she had their son in her arms, the boy looked terrified, his face hidden in his mother’s neck but his little body shook with a cry.

Robin, however, didn’t seem to register any of this and instead was still aiming the arrow right at the Queen’s heart, “I never miss, you will let the man go,” he hissed out.

Regina grinned at him, “What makes you think I _don’t_ want to be shot,” that caught the thief off guard, he took a step back with the words, this woman was so far lost that she herself didn’t know how to get out, “Why don’t you all sit yourselves down, have some breakfast.”

“Lunch,” Hood corrected.

“Oh,” Regina looked out through the window, “The visitors shall be here soon,” she muttered to herself.

**0o0**

After Regina had breakfast she and her hostage left the dining hall and hadn’t been seen all day, meanwhile, Snow, Mal and Zelena sorted the people into rooms and made sure they were all comfortable, they had a hunting party sent out and Granny had been sent to the kitchen with her granddaughter and a few young women from the camp. Regina wasn’t seen until dinner time.

She appeared out of nowhere, her people were seated around the table, her daughter sat close to Daniel, and ate in peace, Regina couldn’t look at her, she was ashamed of herself and her actions but everything was a needed must.

She wasn’t sat around for very long, she had some soup before she dropped her spoon and looked up. Her eyes glowed a wonderful type of purple. She stood abruptly, “Get up, we have visitors,” she nudged Eliot who was eating peacefully beside her, apart from scaring the living daylight out of him and the little cut he had at his eyebrow… and the broken bones… there was nothing truly wrong with him, she had fed him and then she went to the library letting him read a book, sleep and then they came down for dinner.

Regina didn’t really see a reason in actually hurting him, he wasn’t pissing her off which was good for him, it seemed their little talk earlier had stopped him from asking questions and being a nuisance. But now that his mother was there, Lamia, along with her sisters, Regina couldn’t help but hurt him just a little. She sent jolts of electricity up his spine, little things that would make him jump. Magic comes from emotion and memory, these jolts were the memories left behind from Greg Mendel and their torturous time together.

Eliot yelped in shock and the tingle he felt in his back, it ran up his spine and then stopped at the base of his neck, he still felt the spasm that it induced.

“You let him go Regina,” Lamia hissed as she charged into the dining hall, she had the precious youthful face back again, her blonde hair cascading and framing her face, bright blue eyes burning with terror for her child and anger at Regina, she wore a simple black lace dress, nothing as intricate as Regina but at least it was something, her skin was clear, not a wrinkle in sight, cheekbones poking out a little, not a grey hair in sight, she looked more like Eliot’s sister rather than mother.

“Ate another Star’s heart I see,” Regina responded instead, it was so rare that a star would come to earth but when they did it was a fight between all sorcerers to get to it, they held impeccable power and Regina still has the stardust of the star named Yvaine.

Lamia scowled at the Queen’s words, “Not all of us can live as long as you and maintain our youthful glow.”

Regina smirked, “Did you just call me pretty?” she teased, her fingertips caressed her cheek in a soft motion, one of her hands rested lightly on her stomach now that she was standing behind the dining table; “I’m flattered, truly.”

Lamia scowled, “You have too much faith in that beauty of yours,” she hissed out.

The words made Regina gasp in mock, “Shush, you’ll make me blush,” she grinned.

Lamia ignored the Queen’s words and instead took a tentative step towards her, Regina was standing behind a long dinner table, “Regina, dear, I’ve found another way to keep my youth.”

“Bout time.”

“Yes, I suppose it really is,” The witch took another step forward and took out a dagger, it was intricately designed, a beautiful crystal was at the base and the handle looked as if it was made out of bones, _probably that of a Star_ , Regina thought. Lamia took another dangerous step, “I can sacrifice anyone for my youth,” she gave Regina a pointed and sinister look.

“Me?” she extended the last syllable and her voice raised a little higher than normal, she adapted a look of mock shocked as she pointed at herself, her eyes flicked across the many faces gaping at her in fear and shock, her little girl looked terrified (the fact that she was actually there in the same room as the woman whose son Regina had taken made the Queen a little nervous, she sent a small spell her way to make the girl look as if she had blonde hair and made her look a little more like the woman wrapped in Daniels arms (that made Regina angry which was good, she needed fuel)), as did many people in the room, “I’m sorry to tell you but I, my dear, am the _furthest_ thing from a virgin, and we both know that’s what’s required for a sacrifice of this scale,” she smirked at Lamia.

The witch gritted her teeth, “Then I shall use someone else!” she snapped, her arm reached out in a quick motion and she grabbed for a random girl.

“Natalia!” It was Daniel’s voice, the witch had Regina’s daughter (what were the chances of that happening? Regina huffed at the thought), the way the Queen played this out was crucial, if she made one wrong move her daughter would die and she would end up with nothing.

“I’ll kill her,” Lamia spat.

“Okay,” Regina shrugged nonchalantly.

That threw her off, “What?” Regina could feel the magic weaken around her daughter a little.

“Go ahead, do whatever you want, I don’t care if you kill some peasant girl,” Regina rolled her eyes and grabbed for her glass of wine, she once again dipped her finger in and circled the rim 4 times for the harmonic hum to fill the air.

“I will,” Lamia shouted.

“Then do it.”

A breath, Lamia seemed to hesitate, “But,” Regina interrupted, she held the U for a little longer than necessary, “Do you really want to kill a young girl right here, in front of all these witnesses, children… your son?”

The witched stopped and looked at Eliot, the boy’s jaw was tense, and he had a frown on his face, lips pursed and disappointment in his eyes. Lamia looked at the little blonde girl she had hanging in the air, her blue eyes were wide and scared and Lamia couldn’t, for the life of her, take that one life, not when her son was there, not when he was the one who had the power to tear her down.

“How about I just…” Regina made a grabbing motion with her hand and then pulled it back quickly, Nat flew out of Lamia’s reach and right into a cloud of purple smoke where she appeared standing beside Regina, who wrapped an arm around her and held her close to her chest, “I would greatly appreciate if you returned what is mine,” the snarl was back on Regina’s face.

“Mother, please,” Eliot begged.

“Yes, mother,” The Queen mocked.

Lamia looked down at her shoes, “You have won this time, Regina,” she spoke silently in defeat, pulling out an old mirror, it was square with a gold frame and handle, it looked like bark was encasing it. She laid it flat on her palms and stretched out her arms to offer it to the Queen as if it were a gift.

Regina still had Natalia (she thought very fondly of the name and that Daniel would give her that name) in her arms, she reached one out, palm facing the Lilliam sisters, and slowly she turned it towards her, as she did the mirror started appearing in fragments in her hold. When it was fully facing her she let out a sigh, “That wasn’t so hard now, was it?” She turned around, “You are excused.”

There was no movement which prompted Regina to turn around again, the Witches were all looking at her, “I said, LEAVE!” she shouted, her hand rose and she snapped her fingers releasing Eliot and making him go to his mother, she felt their magic as they left.

With the mirror now in her hand she concentrated on the spell that would release him and let him roam in the world of mirrors instead of being stuck in the one.

“You did this for a mirror?” it was that insipid thief again.

“Witches are bitches,” She was distracted, Regina couldn’t care less what that thief would do, she just wanted that stupid genie to roam his _home_ , this whole affair could have ended terribly, she didn’t know if she could trust Sydney, there had to be a way were she would be certain he wouldn’t tell anyone her secrets, fears, insecurities… weaknesses… Regina closed her eyes, her two biggest weaknesses were standing in the same room as her. She had to find a way to protect them from her enemies… from herself.

“Your Majesty,” his voice always made her cringe, it was soft, always silent as if there was a secret he wanted to tell her. Only _her_.

“Mirror,” Regina smirked, “Mirror,” with each word she took a step closer, “On the wall, who’s the fairest of them all?” she stood before her sun mirror (She made it appear after the witches left).

Mirror seemed to focus on her. He was taking her in, she could tell, from the way that he sighed softly, as if relaxing before he spoke, “Through all the lands that I have travelled and the faces I have seen, yours shines the brightest amongst them, My Queen.”

Regina nodded once satisfied with the answer but still, “Are you sure?”

“Of all the lands, My Queen, you are most certainly the fairest of them all,” he insisted.

It was their _thing_ , so to say. Ever since he had trapped himself in her mirror Regina would ask him that one question that would determine his loyalty to her, as long as he praised her she knew that there would be no one to stand between his ardour for her.

She smirked at him, “I hate blondes.”


	4. Dept

**Dept.**

**0o0**

Since the group had gotten to the castle there had not been anymore incidents following that of what they call _‘The Mirror’_ which is incredibly unimaginative and frustrating because they also hadn’t seen the Queen since _The Mirror_ incident. She’s been unseen and unheard from in days, Maleficent had assured people that she wasn’t plotting something against anyone and that she simply didn’t want to be around peasant, but she worries that her friend is avoiding her loved ones, Daniel and Natalia.

Mal was unsure whether Regina was being cowardly or just depressing, she knows that her friend had spent her entire life dedicated to the Stable Boy and their bastard child and yet she had barely looked at either since they had been returned to her. Mal snagged a glance at the topic on her mind. That blonde, Rose, that woman must be the reason why Regina wasn’t showing her face, Regina overthinks, all the time, she must have seen the blonde and came to the conclusion that she was replaced. Mal chuckled to herself, Regina hates blondes.

.::.

Natalia sat beside her father, deject from what was happening around her, she did not wish to be around Rose, she was nice and friendly but she was acting as if she had a right to be her mother, she didn’t. Nat never had a mother, her mother had thought that she was dead, or happy with other people… her mother was avoiding her. Nat sighed silently, her bright eyes flicked to the side where she sees Rose kissing her father’s cheek, for some reason the action makes her angry, this woman was acting as if she belonged to the family her and her father had built together, this blonde acts as if she belongs with them, she does not, the person that belongs with them is currently… god knows where.

Natalia just wanted her mother.

**0o0**

There was dead silence in the room, no light was breaking through the thick black blinds that covered the window and the balcony, Regina’s breaths were deep; she was sleeping. Left side of the bed, on her belly, her arms tucked under the pillow and hugging it in a way that made it puff more, one leg was bent, her foot and knee poking out from the enormous covers, they practically swallowed her whole, she was tiny compared to the grand bed.

Footsteps penetrated the silence, they were soft but they seemed to be the loudest thing in the silence of the chamber, Regina shifted in bed, turning to lay on her back. The light tapping getting closer, rustling of a coat added to the silence.

“I can hear you, ya know,” the words were muttered in a sleepy haze, Regina’s eyes opened softly, “C’mere.”

The intruder stood at the foot of her bed, “You are going to help me,” he demanded.

Regina sat up on her elbows, her eyes widened in surprise at the mess of a man standing before her, her mouth dropped as she sat up properly.

“You have no idea what I’ve been through these past two weeks,” Jefferson grumbled.

Regina didn’t say a word, instead she lifted the covers on the right side and made an inviting motion, Jefferson looked at her with wide tired eyes, big black circles around them, and dropped shoulders; there was no questioning it, he needed to sleep for a solid month.

The hatter slid out of his coat, took off his shoes, shirt and slipped into the bed beside the Queen, Regina raised a brow, the action making Jefferson appear in comfortable sleepwear, “I made some fresh clothes appear in the bathroom so you have something to wear after you shower,” she said softly, she lay down on her side to face him and asked, “Tell me what happened.”

They weren’t unfamiliar with this, in sharing a bed, it had happened before, more so after Regina learnt to live with the fact that dead was dead, back when Jefferson was a reckless portal jumper. He took Regina to many wonderful lands, many where he showed her that they could be friends, he took her places that she had only dreamt of being, and he then reminded her of what it was like to be touched by a gentle hand, he showed her a softness she had forgotten when she was with Leopold. It was rejuvenating, it reminded her that she didn’t have to lead a life where she was in pain. And then it was taken away from her, like most things in her life were, taken by a woman from another land, taken by her own stupidity and failure to recuperate feelings she hadn’t felt in years.

When she cast the curse, Regina made sure that Jefferson remembered, she made sure that for his treason he knew what pain was, for what he had done she made him pay. Yet he still always came to her, to feel, to be… to talk.

“Everyone appeared to where they were before the curse,” he started, “I appeared in Wonderland,” he growled in anger.

“Sorry,” Regina muttered, she hadn’t thought of what would happen to people that were not from the Enchanted Forest.

“At least it wasn’t as bad as when your mother was Queen. All I had to do was go to the palace and the White Queen gave me a bean, I came here and spent the past couple day searching for my daughter,” there was a frantic undertone to his voice, “I can’t find Grace, I don’t know where she is, I don’t know where Gayle and Eoin are, her parents from Storybrooke, they were our neighbours,” he stopped himself before he could actually babble, “Regina, I wouldn’t have come here if you weren’t my last resort. Please, help my find my daughter, help me find Grace,” he begged.

Regina nodded lightly, “Of course Jefferson,” she sighed, “Mirror,” She called out, seconds later the full length mirror facing her bed filled with the face of the man in question, “I need you to search for Jefferson’s daughter, her name is Grace, she was known as Paige in Storybrooke. Go find her, make sure she is safe, if not you must come to me at once.”

“Of course, my Queen,” his head bent down before he disappeared.

“You should get some sleep,” Regina told the Hatter.

Jefferson just shook his head, “I can’t sleep, not without Grace, not without knowing that she’s safe.”

“You’ll be no help to her if you’re tired, the Mirror will come to me once he has found her and made sure she was alright. Now, you are going to sleep, then you’ll have a shower, and we’ll get something to eat, but for now, rest,” her tone became more authoritative and demanding.

Jefferson looked like he wanted to argue but decided against it, she was right, he couldn’t find his daughter on his own, she was more help to his little girl than he would be. The Hatter sighed and settled more comfortably in Regina’s bed, it took only moments before he fell asleep.

**0o0**

It was a wonder he could actually laugh while his daughter was still missing, yet Regina could always find a way to cheer him up, it was weird considering she was the reason for a lot of his heartache. Jefferson remembered when he was young and he stupidly fell in love with a Queen; beautiful and trapped and so, so sad, how could he have stopped himself? He remembered days where she went to him for comfort, times where she was his friend and he was hers.

It was odd looking at her now and not seeing soft colours and light, natural makeup. He saw her for who she believed she was, and she thought that she was Evil.

She was pacing with a goblet in her hand, food was up on the tables set out for the peasant and other royal to enjoy when they come down. He had never seen Regina look so flustered, she never paced and she never drank quite that much wine this early in the morning, then again she was usually sleeping at this time in the morning.

“What’s wrong?” Jefferson asked hesitantly.

“What could possibly be wrong?” it’s never good when she answers a question with a question, Jefferson frowned but before he was able to say anything the large wooden doors opened and in stepped Snow White followed by the people in the kingdom.

“Regina?” she asked softly and in slight shock, she hadn’t seen her stepmother for a while.

“Snow,” Regina said in a dead tone.

“People heard voices and they didn’t want to go in just in case you were…”

“Torturing someone?”

Snow stopped walking, “Busy,” she corrected.

“Busy _with_ someone?” she said in a suggestive tone, “Or, _Busy_ with someone,” she said in a dangerous tone.

Snow stared at her, her eyes blinking rapidly and her mouth slightly agape, her light eyes flicked away from Regina’s judgment (more like Regina’s annoyed and slightly hurt eyes because everyone, including Snow herself, expected blood on the floor and a helpless person begging for mercy at the Queen’s feet) they flicked guiltily to the table of food and then settled on the person sitting on the chair beside Regina’s throne, “J-Jefferson?” there was hesitation in her tone, which should be expected considering that the last time she had seen Jefferson he had a gun pointed at her head.

Jefferson peaked from behind Regina’s tiny frame and grinned slyly, “Ahh, I see everyone’s here for breakfast, bout time, her Majesty was getting angsty.”

 Regina turned towards Jefferson with so much speed he thought she would tumble down with whiplash, “I don’t get angsty!” she hissed.

“Not unless you don’t get something you want,” Maleficent struts into the room, “Nice to see you’re still alive.”

Guilt shot through Regina for a brief moment before she pushed it down, “I was busy,” she tried to excuse.

“Yeah, busy avoiding us,” Scar says snidely.

Regina shot her gaze towards him and glared at him, “I have my reasons,” she says darkly.

“I don’t doubt that you do,” his gaze flicked to the side where he could see Daniel and Nat getting seated… with Rose.

Regina snarls at him, “You should know by now where your place is,” she glared at him, her chest heaving. This was why she didn’t want to go anywhere near anyone for a little bit, this was the reason she was avoiding them. Daniel and Natalia were a sore subject at the moment, and probably will be for a while considering Regina is adamant in not talking to them.

Scar just rolled his eyes at her as he walked past to a seat, “So, Jefferson, what brings you to our humble home?” he asked once seated.

Regina grumbled something along the lines of _my humble home_ but apart from that she sat quietly and ate her soup.

“Just some exercise with Regina,” he said suggestively.

Mal rolled her eyes, “And the real reason?”

He slumped down in his seat, “Grace, my daughter, I can’t find her, Regina’s helping me,” Jefferson looked at Regina, her posture was stiff and head tilted towards her food, though from his seat on her left her could see that her eyes would periodically flick to him… no, not him, she kept looking at someone, Jefferson frowned trying to determine where she was looking.

Mal raised a brow, “You’re really going to help him, no charge?” there was amusement in her disbelieving voice.

Regina chuckled lightly, “Of course not, he’s going to give me the hat,” she said at the same time as Jefferson said _of course._

Regina let out a full bellied laugh, “You will give me the hat if you want your child,” her voice was smooth yet her eyes deadly.

Jefferson shook his head, “But-”

“Make up your mind quickly Jefferson, she might not have enough time left,” she stood and started walking away.

Jefferson stood as she was half way out the door, “If you had a child of your own, one that’s half you, you would understand what it’s like,” he shouted, “You’d understand the pain.”

Regina stopped walking and tilted her head towards her daughter, the young girl was looking at Regina with this undertone of fear, her heart clenched as the woman Daniel was with, Rose, hugged Regina’s daughter close to her chest. “You’d think so, wouldn’t you,” and then she disappeared in a cloud of purple smoke.

Maleficent waited until the bustle of people returned before she smacked Jefferson in the back of his head, “After that comment she might not get you your daughter.”

“Of course she will, she has a weakness for children,” Jefferson sat back looking very sure of himself.

“Yes she does, but you see that girl over there,” Scar pointed at Natalia who was glaring at her food, before snapping her head to the side and snarling at the blonde woman and then turning towards the man and hanging her head down, “That’s her daughter,” he finished.

Jefferson stared at the girl, he could see it, could see that she was all Regina from the way she glared at the food, to the way she glared at the woman and from the way she huffed and stormed away.

**0o0**

She hated that woman. It was unfair that her father was so… ugh. Natalia couldn’t even express how she was feeling let alone tell her father, this woman was just there and she was wrecking the calmness and love that her father had with her, he wasn’t acting as himself. It was stupid and yes, probably a little childish but she couldn’t help but feel as if that woman was trying to replace her in her father’s life.

Nat turned another corner expecting to find herself at the room that she was given, Snow had told her that the room was the best in the castle, that Regina would never let just anyone in that specific room, Snow had laughed, telling her that her father, King Leopold, never got along with Regina, except Regina always had this way of getting what she wanted and no one seemed to be able to deny her.

“I know, I know, you must though,” Nat frowned at the soft hum of someone’s voice, it seemed that they were talking to themselves for they just answered a second later, “But you must, she’s a child, only eleven,” Natalia followed the voice.

She stopped dead in her tracks when she saw her mother standing by a beautiful apple tree, her father had told her about the apple tree, it was her mother’s most prised possession, she treated it with care. Apparently her grandfather, Henry, had planted it when he found out that he was going to have a child, Daniel also told her that that was the tree he always met Regina under for picnics and stolen kisses, the thought always made Nat smile.

Regina caressed the bark of the tree as its branched danced in the light wind. “Mirror still hadn’t found anything, this girl won’t be able to survive long in the forest, she’s eleven, she’s only ever known what it’s like with her father taking care of her,” to Natalia’s utter surprise the tree bent down to the Queen’s height and it’s leaved, ones that had fallen onto the floor, danced around her forming the figure of a person, it was a beautiful thing to witness, her mother looked every bit the Queen she was.

“Thank you, get me as soon as you hear something,” she said before sitting at the concrete wall that surrounded the tree to watch the leaves fly away.

There was something calming about watching her like this, she seemed to be deep in thought, very concentrated. Natalia always dreamt of meeting her mother, her father had always told her that she might never get the chance. When they heard news of the Queen being captured and sentenced to death by Snow White, Nat cried herself to sleep as her father planned to go and free her, when the curse struck her father had told her that there was probably no chance in seeing the Queen again, again Nat cried herself to sleep. The fact that her mother was sitting only a couple meters away from her made her young heart soar.

Nat was staring at her for so long that she didn’t even realise that Regina started sniffling, her hand lifted to wipe away a tear, Natalia never really noticed how sad she seemed, was it because of Rose? Or was it because everyone thought she was evil and didn’t deserve to be happy? A couple days ago some peasant made a comment to Nat’s father that it was good that he was keeping her away from the Queen, her father had gotten angry and shouted at the man.

The young princess bit her lip and took a step towards the garden, but before he foot even made contact with the ground she retreated, this woman didn’t know her, and as much as Nat wished it wasn’t this was, she didn’t know her either, there was no way in knowing how she would react. Nat decided to play it off as if she were lost; which wouldn’t be hard since she _was_ lost.

She backed up a little around the corner and then walked, making sure that her shoes patted against the ground.

The sound of footsteps brought Regina back to the present and out of her brooding state, she turned at the sound of the light patting. Out of the corner emerged a fairly small figure. To her utter surprise it was her daughter, Natalia walked past with a deep agitated frown, she stopped before the window and looked around for a couple seconds before letting out an annoyed growl.

Regina bit her lip in hesitation, “Are you alright there, dear?” she called out softly as not to startle her.

Natalia’s head shot to look at her mother, she swallowed before speaking, “I’m lost,” she sounded completely helpless, “I think I must’ve taken a wrong turn or something.”

Regina stood and slowly walked over to the girl, “Where were you going?”

“My room, I was tired; it’s gotten quite dark.”

Regina looked up at the sky, it had indeed gotten dark, she hadn’t even noticed, Regina frowned in worry, it’s been hours since she asked the trees and the stupid mirror to find Jefferson’s daughter, she might have to go look herself if neither are back in the next hour, “Come, I’ll take you.”

Natalia smiled brightly at her, it was a smile Regina recognised as her own; it was odd seeing someone who looked so much like you. She barely had any Daniel in her, apart from the eyes and the crinkles beside them from the life of laughter. Regina smiled at her, at least she was happy.

They walked in silence back to the room she had for the girl, the room that Regina had made specifically for the girl she thought had been her daughter; she frowned deeply.

“How do you not get lost here?” Natalia mused.

Regina smirked from beside her, “I’ve lived here for too long,” she sighed, “You’ll get used to it I’m sure.”

Nothing else was said between them, Regina basked in the presence of her first born child, the girl smelt like summer and the forest after a rainstorm and fresh hay, it warmed something in Regina’s heart, just the fact that she was here and she was _alive_.

“Here you go, I hope you have sweet dreams,” Regina smiled slightly at the girl, she made a move towards her but decided against it, Henry didn’t like hugging her after he found out that the hands she had used to sooth him had been the same hands that killed thousands of people.

Natalia smiled pleasantly at her mother, “Goodnight,” she whispered before disappearing into her room.

Regina let out a little sigh, she stood by the closed door for a moment trying to compose herself before leaving.

**0o0**

It had been a little over an hour before the trees had called upon her, Grace had been found. Once Regina found what was happening with the girl she found that anger was too simple of a word to describe how she was feeling.

She dressed herself in her battle gear, her large metal coat and a simple black corset with black leather trousers and knee high boots, then she disappeared in a cloud of purple smoke.

.::.

The air was cool against her heated skin, her hand was placed against the rough bark of the tree she was hiding behind. She should have thought this out before she just appeared out of nowhere with no plan. _Damn._

Regina evened out her breathing, she needed to think of a plan before someone noticed her, she looked to the sky, it was getting quite late, the sun had completely disappeared from the sky, it seemed that the night was a moonless one, clouds were covering most of the stars, it was going to be very dark in just a matter of minutes, she could hear the bustle of men trying to light a fire, apparently the previous one had died down. She used the cloaking spell to make her magic undetectable and then she made herself invisible, Regina stood patiently listening to what was happening.

At the camp there seemed to be about 8 men, apparently some were out getting fire, another two were out hunting and one was off grabbing water. That made 13 men in total that was simple enough, 13 men against the most powerful sorceress alive. She closed her eyes and concentrated on detecting any magic users or any magical items. She couldn’t feel anything, but that didn’t mean that they didn’t have any, some magical weapons wouldn’t be detected as easily, they were mediocre things like a bow that never misses or a sword that repels dark magic. Regina let her magic out, she let it feel around the camp to try find any weapons, magical or not.

She was so focused on trying to detect magic within the camp that she didn’t detect any from the outside, Regina wasn’t ready for the sharp pain to strike the back of her head or the darkness that followed.

**0o0**

The back of her head _throbbed_ she could feel the pulsing of her blood in the back of her skull and in the back of her eyes. Someone really pulled a number on her, hitting her hard.

Regina stayed laying down, she listened to what was happening around her. There was the sound of a man snoring, she listened past that for footsteps, none were heard, and she could hear hiccupping sobs and silenced sniffles. There was something around her wrists, without moving she tried to figure out what they were, first she tried her magic, and yes, it was still working, idiots didn’t bind her magic. Whatever it was, it was wrapped securely around her wrist, it wasn’t cold, so not handcuffs; it was probably rope, although it wasn’t scratching her skin which was weird.

Slowly Regina opened one eye, she immediately regretted that decision, there was barely any light apart from the fire and that caught her eyes and made her head hurt even more. She could feel something a little wet and sticky on the nape of her neck, her hand lifts subconsciously to feel the sore area but she seemed to have forgotten that she was tied up.

“Your Majesty?” the voice was quiet but it quite literally penetrated through Regina’s throbbing head, “Are you awake?”

Forcing herself to think past the pain Regina opened her eyes and looked at the little group of girls all huddled together, she’s surprised that she knows some of them, “Grace?” her throat felt like sandpaper, her head was throbbing and apparently she had been bleeding – now that she felt her head – and if she sits up there was a high chance she would vomit. She still sat up, and as expected she vomited the little dinner she had. Thin arms enveloped her, a rough hand stroked her forehead and pulled her hair away from her face. After she finished she slumped over onto the person holding her, she realised that they were a little smaller than her, the chest a little bony, it was a male.

Regina jumped out of the arms holding her and sat in front of the group of girls, her head started spinning and her sight became unclear and unfocused. It was slightly alarming, she was disoriented and couldn’t focus properly.

“Who are you?” she asked once her sight calmed and she was able to make out the figure of the boy, because that’s what he was, he was a boy couldn’t be older than her Natalia, paper thin, he was, with bleach blond hair that was sort of messy atop his head and bright blue eyes, ones that seemed unreal when she looked at them; he was kind of adorable.

He looked behind him in a paranoid type of gesture, “My name’s Holden,” he stated quietly.

“Holden,” she crawled towards him, “My name is Regina,” she smiled slightly at him, “I came here to get the girls.”

Holden started shaking his head, unruly yellow locks flew from side to side, “You can’t. They’ll hurt us.”

“Us? Are you prisoner here too?”

Holden nibbled his lip, “My dad is the leader, he’s the one taking the girls, they’re supposed to be payment,” he looked behind Regina at the little group huddled together.

“Payment to who? For What?”

“My father, he owns money to King George. For the past thirty years we weren’t worried because he was in that cursed land, but now that he’s back… These men my dad got, they’re here to help deliver the girl to Jareth, the-”

“The Goblin King,” Regina closed her eyes and sighed, “I know Jareth, we’re on good terms,” she turned to the girls, “I’ll get you out of here.”

“Why should we trust you?” Regina looked towards the direction of the voice, to her utter surprise it was Gretel.

There were about five of them, Gretel, Grace, little Alexandra, there was a little girl with blonde hair and another with light brown pig tails. “What are your names?” Regina asked calmly towards them, she smiled softly.

“I’m Sophia,” the little brunette said.

“I’m ‘Melia,” the little blonde whispered around her thumb, the maternal instincts inside the Queen forced her to gently pull out the little girls thumb.

“ _A_ melia is my sister, father wants to pay with her,” Holden looked scared to death, “I’ll help you if you’re really going to get them out.”

Regina nodded, “How many men?”

“14.”

The Queen looked up at the sky, the moon was way over the top of the sky, she must have been out for a while, “Do you have horses? A carriage?”

“Yes.”

Regina nodded, “Okay, take them to the carriage and start it quietly, make sure you’re as far away as possible before you stop, I’ll find you,” she freed herself of the ties around her hand, turns out they were ripped cloth, Holden was already helping the girls, “Wait, wait, wait, wait, first can you get me some water?”

Holden nodded before running off.

“You didn’t answer my question, how can we trust that you’re here to help?” Gretel asked again stubbornly refusing to stand up.

“I made a deal with Grace’s father,” the Queen turned her attention to the girl, “He’s been looking for you, he came to me for help,” she looked at the group of girls, “I will help you, I promise.”

“Are you doing this because we’re Henry’s friends?” Grace hesitated to ask.

Regina didn’t say anything just smiled softly in a way that made Gretel and Grace relax. Holden came running back with a carton of water that he handed to Regina, “I had to take it from my dad.”

She nodded her thanks, with all the concentration in her she made two pills appear and then threw them into her mouth, she washed them down with the water and sat for a couple minutes to let them take effect.

“What was that?” Holden asked.

“Aspirin, for the headache,” she finally sat up, “Okay, you are going to lead them away from here, make sure they’re somewhere same, make sure no one follows, and make sure that you wait for me before getting too far,” she spoke as she untied the girls, “I know that you are all very brave young ladies, so I’m going to need you to channel that bravery into getting out,” she smiled again.

Holden took a deep breath in and started ushering all the girls to follow him, he weaved through the trees, it was lucky that most of the men were sleeping, they had a watch but those weren’t really paying attention. Regina sent a little spell that made them blind to the children creeping away.

Once the kids were out of her sight, the Queen crept into the centre of the camp and examined the tents, she guessed that the biggest one held the leader, she made her way towards it. The inside was very mediocre, there was a cot of blankets on the floor, some dirty clothes, a sword and a little stone. Regina frowned, it was no ordinary stone, she crawled over to it, it was shaped as a triangle with a hole in the middle, and it was big enough to see through. Regina recognised it almost immediately, these were made to see that that the naked eye could not, no wonder they were able to see her.

“Who are you?” The voice was gruff, deep and filled with sleep.

Regina turned quickly with the discarded sword in her hand, she threw herself at the man making sure that the sharp edge was stinging his throat.

“I’m your worst nightmare,” she grinned evilly at him.

**0o0**

“We should go,” Gretel insisted, the sun was starting to come up, Grace, Holden and herself were the only ones awake.

“She said she’d come find us,” Holden snapped, “She’ll be here,” he cuddled his sister a little closer to his chest. He was scared, and rightfully so, after his mother died he lived with his grandmother and then the curse came but they didn’t go anywhere, his father did, his father had been gone for so long and then all of a sudden he appeared and he knocked out his poor granny, Holden wished he could see how his nanna was doing.

“She’s the Evil Queen, she could never keep a promise,” Gretel hissed.

No one said a word, it was silent, which allowed them to hear the sound of thudding hooves approaching them.

Holden jumped to his feet and grabbed the sword he snagged from one of his father’s goons, he lifted it up ready to defend them all.

“You should put that down before you hurt yourself,” Regina sassed, she slowed her horse down to a trot and rode up beside the carriage, it was one she’s seen used for transporting goods through the kingdom, it would do to take the children somewhat safe. She hopped off, her leg almost giving way under the pain, and tied up the horse beside the grey mare, “We should get going if we want to be back before lunch,” she hopped up beside them and got the horses going.

Holden looked at her for several moment, he hesitated before talking, “Did you kill my dad?” he asked quietly.  hhhsnfj

She was silent for several moments before answering, “No.”

There was more silence, “What about the others?” Grace asked.

Regina considered lying to them, it would be good to save them from having nightmares, yet she also wanted them to know that they wouldn’t be taken again, “Yes.”

**0o0**

Their journey was long, after Regina admitted to killing the men she was conscious for only a couple moments before the headache started getting worse and the tiredness crept into her bone; she passed out.

For a moment the children were panicked and didn’t know what to do, but Holden decided to take team leader role (he was the oldest, 15) and started to take charge, he stopped by the river to get some water for them, some extra for Regina and then lead the horse to the closest village he knew of, hopefully it would be close to where the Queen was taking them.

Once Regina came to she had to stop the carriage so she could vomit, which was not a good sign (she really needed to heal herself, concussion was not a good look on her).

They were back at the castle by the time the sun was at its highest point, Regina took baby Alexandra and little Amelia into her arms and carried them through the castle, Sophia was about 8 so Holden grabbed her hand and followed behind Regina.

Regina stormed right into the dining hall, once inside all sound stopped, she swayed a little, she must look a state, there was blood on her clothes, mostly her own, there were rips and mud stains, she was ready to pass out… again, or be sick, maybe both, probably at the same time.

She limped over to Cinderella and handed her little Alexandra, then she limped over to her chair where she sat Amelia down, “Holden, I’m going to get you a room ready,” she started picking some food off her table, before she put it down she nibbled on it a little.

“What are you doing?” Holden walked to her.

“Checking if it’s poisoned, I may be cruel but not cruel enough to poison a child with something intended for me,” she watched from the corner of her eye as he shuffled closer to her and grab some food, she ripped a bit off before it was close enough to his lips and shoved it in her own. She froze, as did Holden, before Regina knew what was happening she was bending over and hurling onto the floor.

Holden stood with his mouth agape and then looked at the food, he set it down hesitantly as Regina stopped and stood straight.

She picked up a napkin and started wiping the corner of her mouth, “That was not my finest moment,” she muttered.

“Maybe you should go and lie down, you’re concussed, _and_ you’ve been stabbed three times,” He was hovering around her, she hated when people hovered, but she didn’t have the heart to tell the little blond cutie to piss off.

“I was stabbed two times,” the Queen muttered as she gave the food to Amelia. She turned to Jefferson in a sharp movement that ended with Holden holding her up and Zelena standing and walking towards her, “Your daughter Hatter, now give me the hat,” she just wanted this day to be over with, she desperately needed to sleep, possibly shower first… maybe get someone to be near her so she doesn’t hurt herself any more.

Jefferson, who had Grace all wrapped in his arms, turned to Regina, “It’s in my home, I’ll have it delivered to you soon,” he smiled softly at her, “Thank you, Regina,” the amount of gratitude he had in his eyes, it was enough for Regina to tear up a bit.

“Yes well, someone had to, poor Alexandra was there for days and no one even told me, I knew where they were about twelve hours now and I got them even before anyone could say; ‘who’s she poisoning now’,” she looked to Alexandra who was beaming at her, “Right Lexi?” she winked at the girl.

Alexandra nodded, “Gina’s the bestest,” she told her mother.

“Damn right Gina is,” Regina said with a firm nod of the head, it was a bad idea because the world started spinning again, she started walking towards the door, “Zelena can you look after Holden and Amelia? Great, thank you,” she rushed to say, “Mirror, get me a medic or someone who can sow a wound.”

“Regina,” Mal called, “You’re limping.”

The Queen stopped and turned to where she thought Mal’s voice came from, “Yes, well, I was negotiating.”

Mal raised a brow, “Oh?”

Regina rolled her eyes at the suggestive tone in her friend’s voice, “Not like that,” she limped over to a table and placed her right leg up, now that the large coat wasn’t covering her leg, the long and deep wound that ran from the top of her thigh to just a couple inches above her knee was on show through the rip in her leather, “More in the sense of ‘I need someone to stop the bleeding’,” her voice got raspy, with barely any strength left in her she lowered her leg, “I’m going to lie down, I have a concussion, and I was stabbed in the rib, although that one is just a scratch,” she patted the metal just below her breast in a thankful motion as she left the room, “Take care of my new children,” she said as she left.

Zelena turned to the two adorable little blond kids and sighed at their grinning faces.


	5. Friends

**Friends**

**0o0**

**One day after the rescue**

They came unexpectedly, a group of people that used to work in the castle, they came all together, some with families and some alone, they all came to serve the Queen and no one could figure out why.

“Why would anyone want to work for a temperamental, Evil, Queen?” Grumpy snarled

“The Queen gave us a home, she treated us well,” Elise, the head maid said.

“She also needed someone to take care of her, she has these… _moments_ , some days she doesn’t eat, some days she doesn’t get out of bed, there are days where she just doesn’t care for herself, she can run with no sleep, no food, she’s a mess,” one of the cooks added under his nose.

Elise shook her head, “Any way, where is she?”

Snow looked towards the door, “I assume that she’s sleeping, she got a concussion and a stab wound.”

Elise’s eyes widened, “Has she been sleeping long?”

David shrugged, “Well, she went to bed about yesterday noon, she hasn’t come back at all.”

“And when did you last check on her?”

“We haven’t.”

Elise just stared at them, “What do you mean ‘you haven’t’? She’s got a concussion, you have to make sure she’s alert; concussions can be incredibly dangerous!” she exclaimed before leaving the room.

.::.

The Queen’s room was dark, her drapes were clipped together to keep out any type of light, there was the usual smell of apples and sweetness but it was accompanied with the metallic stench of blood. Elise watched the little lump on the grand bed very carefully for several moments, she waited for it to move or give some sort of sigh of life. When, after several minutes, nothing happened, she quickly made her way towards the Queen. The first thing she did was check for a pulse, which, thankfully, was there.

Whoever hit her wasn’t holding anything back.

The shock came when Elise pulled back the covers, blood was everywhere, it caked her right leg and coated her left one, it was all over the covers and from what she could see, it was coming from a large wound she had on her thigh, it looked like someone had stuck a knife into the top of her thigh and then ran it down to just above her knee.

“Regina?” Elise shook the Queen’s shoulder, she didn’t stir; “Regina!” she did it more forcefully.

Regina’s eyes opened sluggishly, she seemed disorientated, “Heyyyyy, whatareyoudoin’?” and she was slurring her words, this was not good.

Elise started helping the Queen out of the bed, she dragged her out and then practically carried her onto the chaise lounge, Regina didn’t complain as she usually would. The Maid nibbled her lip, she grabbed a pillow and took it out of its case. She started wiping down the blood from Regina’s skin so that she could see the wound better. “Mirror?” she called out calmly. She had been in this situation many time when the Queen was injured.

“Elise? It’s been a while,” the genie’s face filled the mirror.

“Mirror, I need to talk to Julie and Robert, this is an emergency,” she shifted slightly to show the wound on the Queen’s leg, blood either leaking out or drying.

His eyes widened and he immediately vanished, in his place was the face of a woman in her forties and a man about the same age.

“Julie, I need you to grab me the sowing kit and I also need a basin of fresh water. Robert, I need you to come change the Queen’s sheets, they’re covered in blood, don’t forget the healing paste!”

**0o0**

_Once she shoved him off she made herself comfortable in his tent, “You know that handling children in illegal in my land,” she stated._

_His blond hair was slightly matted, Regina could see that Holden had gotten that and the blue eyes from him, but other than that this man had a wonky jaw and a lumpy nose, not particularly ugly but it wasn’t the cute little one that matched Holden’s._

_He sat back, breathing hard while his palm pressed to the cut Regina made on his neck, “I’m Alaric,” he said more calmly._

_Regina licked her lips, suddenly very aware of the way he was looking at her, she didn’t like it, “I could kill you,” she said, he was expecting her to tell him her name and the sudden change had caught him off guard, his jaw locked, “For taking children, for using your own children, to get **money** ,” she spat. _

_“It’s either death at the hand of a tiny woman in a tight dress, or by the hand of a mighty King,” he sneered sarcastically._

_Regina smirked, “You don’t know who I am? Do you?” she always loved this part, the moment when people realised that before them was the Evil Queen._

_“Should I care, I could kill you myself, there would be no problem,” he was snarling at her, all ego and cockiness._

_She’s going to enjoy making him apologise to her, “I doubt you’ll even get the chance,” she launched at him, the sword once again at his neck, “You see,” she placed her right hand over his heart, “I have a thing for hearts, they hold so much, they’re a wonder to **hold** in the **palm of my hand** ,” she gently pressed down with her hand letting it seep into his chest, slowly and torturously, “I love to feel the power of its beating, it makes it feel as if the once owner still has some fire to give it,” she sneered at him._

_The look on his face excited Regina, it encouraged her to taunt him; it was awfully easy to go back to being the Evil Queen when there was no one looking._

_“Who are you!?” he asked more hastily, his voice was shaking._

_“I’m the Evil Queen,” and with those words she thrusted her hand into his chest and pulled out his heart. It was a mix of light and dark, he had more light that she had, that didn’t change the fact that she was going to kill him._

_Regina was so immersed in his heart that she missed the way he reached his hand under his pillow and pulled out a tiny dagger that he plunged into her straddling thigh. She howled out in pain as he dragged it down, tearing the skin as he went, she didn’t think twice as she started squeezing his heart, squeezing it until there was nothing to squeeze. His hand went limp around the dagger._

_He went limp._

_Regina leaped up ignoring the pain that almost crippled her, she had killed him, she had killed Holden’s dad. How could she do that? She had no right to do that, this was Holden and Amelia’s father, she killed him._

_Tears sprung to her eyes, she had promised Henry that she would change and here she was killing someone; even if he deserved it._

_“Boss! The Kids are gone, so’s the… Woman,” one of his goons ran into the tent distracting Regina from her thoughts, before she could even think about what she was doing, her hand was lifting into the air and the sickening snap of a neck was reaching her ears._

_Henry didn’t know who she was anymore, there was nothing that she could do to disappoint him because he didn’t know. He didn’t care._

_With those thoughts Regina let the Evil Queen out to play, and play she did. So much so that she had to wash the blood off her hands when she finished, she had to wash herself entirely to get rid of the blood so as not to scare the children waiting for her._

**0o0**

Once again Natalia’s mother had not been seen for days, she missed her. It was odd since Nat still didn’t know much about her, but those few times that they had dined in the same room together was a great comfort as appose to not seeing her at all. It was also a little escape, seeing her mother she could pretend that she was just eating dinner with her father and _Rose_ before going to meet her mother. How she wished that were true.

The woman was driving the young girl crazy, Natalia couldn’t understand how someone could be so _stupid_ and obnoxious, and it was ridiculous really. She also acted as if everything was terrifying and that she needed constant attention and protection from her father.

Her father seemed to be yearning more for the Queen than he did for the blonde, Nat had actually caught him following a maid towards what he had believed to be Regina’s chambers, sadly it had ended up being King Leopold’s old room, it was covered by a thick layer of dust and stank of death.

Natalia hunched over her food ignoring her father’s tense shoulders and Rose’s soft smile and the fact that her hand is entirely too close to her father’s crotch, she was going to be sick.

The doors opened again and someone stepped into the hall, Regina squinted her eyes at the light beaming in through the windows and pretty much blinding her. She flinched away from it and flapped her hand around trying to remember how she would move the blinds with her magic, instead one of the knights that entered the dining hall with her made a motion and men ran from behind him to take down the blinds only letting a little light seep through, just enough to see.

“Thank you, Franklin,” Regina sighed now that there was no light burning her sensitive eyelids, she took a few steps forward only to walk into a table. Usually she had a spell that would allow her to see without glasses, but she still has a headache and it’s a little hard for her to focus at that moment, she’ll put the spell back on later when she feels slightly less like her head was about to explode.

Behind her the knight cleared his throat, “Your Majesty,” she could hear the metal clanking as he stepped closer to her, “I have your glasses,” he pulled the thick black rimmed glasses out from a little bag and handed them to her.

Once they were perched on her nose she could see, “This place is filthy,” she snarled, running her finger along the length of the wood of the table as she made her way to her seat. She glanced down at the thin layer of dust on her finger, she stopped walking and placed her hand out. Franklin grabbed a napkin from the bag and cleaned her hand, “Someone clean the dust… and this garbage,” she indicated the peasants sitting around her.

“Your Majesty, they’re your people,” Franklin continued.

“Oh, so they really are people, I thought I was hallucinating again,” she muttered while sitting.

Elise placed a plate before the somewhat disoriented Queen, the soft thud filled the room, her voice followed, “Her Majesty does remember why the people are here, yes?” she asked somewhat worried, through the days she had noticed that the Queen was forgetting words and some things that had happened the past couple of days, the memories returned a little bit later but with the bump on the head it was imperative that the maid knew.

Regina scoffed, “Of course I do, they’re here because of the… the um…err…” she stopped and thought for a second, her mind seemed blank to why the people were in her castle.

“Because of the Monkeys attacking people,” Elise said slowly.

“Yes, of course, I knew that,” she turned her nose up at the possibility of forgetting something.

“Your Majesty, what’s your name?” the maid asked slowly, her voice half shaking in fear despite the fact that she was trying her best to steady it.

The Queen rolled her eyes but Elise just repeated the question more forcefully, “Regina Mills.”

“Full name.”

Regina huffed, “Regina _Victoria Elisabeth_ Mills.”

“Okay, and your parents are…”

“Henry and Cora Mills.”

“What is todays date?”

“I don’t know, we live in a forest,” the Queen huffed in exasperation.

“Fair point… have you forgotten anything else?”

Regina shrugged, “I’ll come to me later,” she said nonchalantly.

There was a pause in which the Queen waited to be served and the maid waited for something to happen to her, she didn’t really know what she was expecting, maybe for her to pass out or forget to be rude to someone. She did neither of those things, she snapped her fingers impatiently waiting to be fed. Elise quickly made a move to put food before her and then went to get her tea, one with extra caffeine, the Queen had always like that one.

“No need to look so cautious, your Majesty, I made it for you,” Elise said, she watched as Regina’s shoulders relaxed and she popped a grape into her mouth, most likely pleased that she could finally eat something after so many days of being unwell.

A young man popped up next to her with a chalice in his hand, “Your Majesty,” he bowed, his blond hair falling into his blue eyes.

Regina watched him cautiously for a moment, watched the way he worked his sharp jaw, as he usually did when he gave her the chalice, and the way his bright eyes flicked across her features desperately. She dropped the serious frown and smirked at him, “Thank you Lionel,” she gave him a firm nod and watched him smirk back before leaving.

The hustle and bustle of people returned to what it was and soon Regina couldn’t even hear herself think, she ignored most of what Maleficent and Scar were talking about, only contributed with a snarky remark if one was needed or the opportunity arose. Instead she opted for looking at her daughter and who she once believed was her true love, a true love she still truly loved with her entire heart and soul.

Daniel looked happy, so happy with _their_ child and some perky blonde. She hates blondes. He was talking and laughing and teasing. He’d grown old, not too old though, and he aged well, barely has many wrinkles, and his blue eyes are still shining from where she is, laughing lines peaking with every smile. Regina doesn’t have laughing lines, her face is smooth, you wouldn’t even find a wrinkle, she could have been happy if he had tried to find her. She frowned, why didn’t he try finding her? He loved her, didn’t he? They were supposed to have forever together, they were meant to be happy with their children and their common life.

Regina was so caught up thinking about Daniel that she didn’t realise someone had joined her at her table. She slowly turned her head to face the intruder, looking to the chair beside her she saw that there was apparently no one there, she blinked dumbly.

“Hi,” Regina looked down to see that actually there was someone there, a tiny someone who couldn’t be older than maybe 5 or 6.

“Hello,” she replied slowly, she wasn’t quite sure how someone let their child disappear and sit next to the Evil Queen.

“I’m Roland,” he grinned up at her.

“Regina,” she replied with a raised brow, “What are you doing here Roland?”

“I’ve never met a Queen before,” he said.

“Oh, well, I am Queen Regina of the Enchanted Forest,” his eyes grew to the size of sauces, she decided to indulge him, Henry always loved playing games where he could be a valiant Knight or Brave Prince, “It’s a pleasure to meet you sir Roland,” his mouth dropped at that. Regina smiled at him, he was quite adorable.

“Where’s the King?” he asked very suddenly.

Regina stopped eating for a moment and looked at the little boy, “Well, I don’t have a King.”

“What about a prince?”

“They’re not really my type.”

Roland frowned, “But all princesses have a True Love,” he insisted.

“But I’m not a princess, I’m the Queen,” she smirked.

“But, you were a princess _once_ ,” he sounded exasperated.

“Well, yes, a very… _very_ long time ago,” she hated being reminded how old she was.

“Then you had a prince,” he concluded with glee.

“No, I had a stable boy,” she smirked at him.

He looked down at her gown, “So, you didn’t have a prince?” she shook her head, “Why?”

“Princes are dumb.”

Roland looked at her with wide eyes, “Really dumb?”

“Really dumb,” she insisted, with a mischievous smirk she said, “Watch how dumb. Hey, Charming?” she called turning to the man in question.

Charming turned to her, “Yes?”

“Say Fort.”

“Fort,” he said in confusion.

“Okay, now say it three times.”

“Fort, Fort, Fort.”

“Spell it twice.”

“F-O-R-T, F-O-R-T.”

“Say it two more times.”

“Fort, Fort.”

“Now what do you eat soup with?”

David rolled his eyes, “A fork.”

Roland giggled, snickers were heard throughout the dining hall, “I prefer to use a spoon, but whatever suits you,” she smirked at the little boy.

“I don’t want to be a prince,” he said with a smirk, then frowned, “My Papa is a prince.”

“Prince of what?” she asked.

“Prince of Thieves.”

“Well, you don’t have to be a Prince, you could be a knight, Sir Roland.”

“Can you make me a knight?!” he called in excitement.

Regina grabbed her butter knife and stood in front of Roland, “You have to kneel,” she said.

He quickly kneeled on his chair excitedly squealing out, “Mama! Papa!”

Robin Hood stood, as did many Merry Men, weapons ready to attack the Queen if she were to hurt the boy.

Regina stood before him and tapped one of his shaking shoulders with the butter knife, “I Knight thee,” the other shoulder, “Sir Roland of…” she looked around the room trying to figure out what to knight him, “Of… Of Forest,” she said, “Sir Roland of Forest,” she bowed her head in respect making a plush monkey appear in her hand, “Your gift,” she kneeled before him.

Roland let out a giggle of glee, “Papa, Mama, I’m a Knight,” he exclaimed happily.

He smiled so deeply that two dips appeared prominently in his cheeks, Regina gasped, “I know those,” she said tapping a dimpled cheek with affection.  

Roland frowned, “My cheeks?” he asked in confusion cuddling his stuffed monkey.

“No dear, the dimples, you were born in this castle,” she searched the faces of the people talking amongst themselves until she found one familiar.

**0o0**

_Their silence was stupid, all their faces were filled with fear, they had their best poker face in place, which was quite pitiful, there was no convincing the Queen that they were brave, she thought nothing of them, the peasants were just the dirt at the bottom of her boot._

_“No one is going to speak!” The Evil Queen hissed in disbelief._

_No one moved, they just cowered in fear, no one looked up to face the Queen; they avoided eye contact at all costs._

_“Fine,” Regina made a hand gesture towards her knights, one of them cautiously walked over with a woman. The woman didn’t look much older than the Queen herself, she was taller, although hunched over, one tied up wrist cradling her pregnant belly, the other shaking as she balanced herself, she waddled over to the Queen’s side._

_“This woman is an example for you all, she had decided to stay silent and now she will be punished, I will give you **one week** , I shall return by then and you **shall** tell me where Snow White is!” The Queen turned very abruptly, the Woman flinched as did some peasants around her, Regina marched to her carriage, slamming the door shut behind her. _

_She waited till the villager’s wouldn’t see her get out and walk to the poor enceinte female being dragged behind her carriage in the cell. She stood by the cell door to observe her for a few moments, there were tears in her eyes, and her hand was still cradling the child inside her._

_Regina remembers the feeling, the overwhelming need to protect your child till it is born, she doesn’t fault the woman for being scared for her life and her child’s._

_With a defeated sigh, The Queen flicked her wrist softly, the gate squeaked open and the woman’s head snapped up to look curiously at the Queen._

_“Come,” was the only thing the Queen said._

_The peasant decided to follow, only because she was scared for the life of her child and didn’t want to cross the Queen to see what she was capable of._

_Regina held her carriage door open for her to step in, her hand was out to guide her up the steps. Reluctantly the pregnant woman took her hand and slowly made her way inside._

_Once seated Regina asked, “What is your name?”_

_There was silence for several minutes, “Marian,” the maiden said silently, she wouldn’t meet the Queen’s eyes and looked down onto the carriage ground._

_Once again the Queen studied the peasant, “Regina.”_

_Marian’s head snapped up to look at the Queen, she half gaped at her, she didn’t know the Queen’s name, she doubted that many did. After she had married the King there was rarely any talk of her, the only thing she had ever heard of the ‘new’ Queen was that she was the fairest in all the lands. And they weren’t mistaken, the woman before her would look beautiful in any garb, her skin fair and clean, eyes dark and sad, she was slender and short, her raven locks falling in soft tumbles, shining in the light. The Maiden felt self-conscious sitting beside someone so comely. She, the poor maiden with a blue dress that barely fit her, the garb riding up her body showing her tights and boots; her hair sitting on her shoulders like straw; her face bare of makeup; skin rough and oily; sat next to someone so elegant and refined. The woman even sat beautifully, with her back straight and legs close together, her hands placed delicately on her lap, while Marian was slumped over – she quickly folded her hands over her belly to look a bit more like the lady she had been raised as – legs spread to make room for the large belly. She was nothing compared to the Queen._

_Regina leant over to a little table that was sitting in the corner of the carriage, it was tucked between the door and seat opposite the Queen. She grabbed a plate and pushed it under Marian’s nose, “Eat,” she demanded softly._

_Marian didn’t move a muscle, she didn’t trust the Queen._

_“You must eat, for your child,” she tried catching the peasant’s eye but she was doing an avid job and avoiding it, “I won’t harm you, I promise.”_

_Marian glared up at the Queen, “How could I possibly trust you? You’re known as the Evil Queen,” she spoke with a hitch to her whispered, teary voice._

_It was now Regina’s turn to look down at the ground, “I hadn’t even proven myself worthy of the title, it had been a week after Leopold died that everyone referred to me as **the Evil Queen**.”_

_Marian looked at the woman before her, she was so powerful yet so small, “What happened to make turn you this way?” she whispered unintentionally._

_Regina’s head shot up, she glared at the Maiden, how dare she speak to her like that? She doesn’t know her, she’s just a peasant that knows nothing of what Regina had been through._

_“I’m sorry, Your Majesty,” Marian stuttered out in fear, “I was just- I… I am sorry, forgive me overstepping my place,” she whispered out._

_Regina’s eyes softened as she looked at her, “I’ve never really had a person to ask me about my life,” she said rather blankly._

_Marian blinked at the new information, “No friends?” The Queen shook her head, “What about your husband?”_

_“He was never interested in what I had to say.”_

_Marian stared at the woman before her, she understood herself, if not for her husband then she would have ended up unhappy at the hand of the Sheriff; there was a new found softness in her she had never seen before._

_Before Marian could say anything Regina nudged the plate of food back to her, “You really must eat something, starving yourself is not good for him,” she smiled softly as the Maiden hesitantly grabbed onto the bread and grapes. To reassure her that nothing was poisoned, and to encourage her to eat something, Regina also grabbed some bread and grapes._

_Seeing the Queen eat and not die, Marian decided that the food was safe and also bit into it, far too greedily in the Queen’s presence she thought to herself._

_There was silence for long moments, Regina didn’t speak to her, nor did Marian to Regina, not until she ate all her bread._

_“What will you do to me?” the question came quite suddenly._

_Regina looked up at her in confusion, “Nothing, why would I do anything to you?”_

_Marian shrugged, “I’m a peasant.”_

_Regina chuckled humourlessly, “I’d rather be a peasant than a Queen,” she muttered under her breath, “I won’t do anything to you. I was planning on just leaving you at the side of the road but he’s ready to come out, after he’s born I shall take you to your family.”_

_Marian stared quite stupidly at the so called **Evil** Queen, “But…” she didn’t even know what she was going to say. _

**_0o0_ **

_Once Regina had settled the woman in a room in her palace she went to speak with a Knight, demanding that he go to the town and find a Midwife willing to come to the castle._

_Then she settled in her room for the night, she made certain that the mirror had an eye on Marian._

_As she did most nights, Regina lay on her back and reflected the day’s events. She should not have shown kindness to some peasant, she should not have indulged said peasant with treats such as a comfortable warm bed and food that would make her child feel better._

_It was interesting that the woman had a magical sort of aura around her, one that Regina couldn’t figure out, it wasn’t her own, it was different, one that seemed to call more to Regina than it did to the woman, to Marian, or her child._

_The Queen sighed into her pillow, her eyes slowly closed, she should not have helped some helpless pregnant woman._

**_0o0_ **

_“YOUR MAJESTY!” someone banged on her door, distress was covering their tone with each yell and bang on the other side of her room._

_Regina awoke with a start, she scanned the room trying to find some sort of intruder. There was no one, nothing was happening in her chamber, nothing disturbing the peace apart from the banging and yelling on the other side of that damned door._

_Regina rose from the bed with anger, she marched hastily towards the door and pulled it open, she used so much force that it banged against the wall and bounced back to her._

_“WHAT! Do you want?” she shouted._

_The Knight on the other side jumped back with a start, “Your Majesty, the peasant is in labour, she had started having contraction early in the night, we tried to get someone to go to her but none of us know what we’re doing and no Midwife was willing to come to the palace,” he explained quickly._

_“Oh, I’ll be right down,” She looked into her room but stopped short, “Find me a clean knife, a basin of hot water and some towels,” she managed to order._

_Quickly, Regina grabbed her robe and managed to tie her locks up into a high bun, she also put on slippers before she made her way to where she left Marian._

_Outside the door she could hear someone shouting in pain, she could hear nervous shouts throughout the room, some from maids and some from knights, neither of them knew what they were doing, the high maids of her palace had been sent home for the day since she didn’t think they’d be needed and Regina liked letting them spend some time with their family, all she had at her disposal were men and young women who were most likely virgins and had never dealt with the birth of anything, let alone a child._

_Regina marched into the room, “Leave!” she demanded; everyone scurried away from the room as quickly as they could. Once alone Regina knelt before the Maid and rolled up the dress to see what was happening. She frowned down as she checked how far she was apart and estimated how much was left._

_“You’re not yet ready to push, you must breathe past the pain, deep and quick breaths,” she held her hand and spoke nonsense to get her mind of the pain._

_Once the contraction was over the maiden asked, “Is a Midwife coming?” she sounded tired._

_“No, I’m sorry, none want to enter the castle for fear of me,” she looked down in shame._

_Marian let out a pained sob, “What will happen to my child?”_

_“I’ll help you deliver him.”_

_Her eyes grew wide as saucers, “You?” she asked in disbelief; “Do you even know what you are to do?”_

_Regina looked down, avoiding the maiden’s eye, “I have delivered two children,” she said softly and quietly._

_Marian observed the Queen, “You have children?”_

_Tears welled in Regina’s eyes, “They’re gone; I barely got to be their mother. You asked me earlier why I am the way I am, it’s because Snow White is the reason I am without my children,” she finished the sentence with a hiss._

_Marian was about to say something but was abruptly cut off by another contraction._

**_0o0_ **

_It was hours later that Regina stood by the new mother’s bedside with a new born in her arms, she gazed down at him; his face was round and chubby although his cheeks had two deep dips in them every time he cried. His eyes were dark, but Regina suspected they would lighten up, to a nice brown like his mother’s, his skin was also a bronze tint like his mother’s, his hair mattered black fluffs atop his head, those too would lighten with time._

_She remembered this moment very vividly, the tiredness after childbirth, but also a warmth that filled the heart so completely. She envied the Maiden who would have her child, there was no one there to rip him away from her; she didn’t have a meddling Snow White and god awful mother._

_Once the maid had freshened up she laid down on the bed again, Regina happily handed the child to his mother._

_“You knew it was a boy,” she stated._

_“Oh, I could see it,” she said softly._

_“How?”_

_“I stole some of Rumpelstiltskin’s foresight, enough to see if there was someone out to kill me or if there was someone about to walk into a room, **or** predict the sex of a child,” she shrugged nonchalantly._

_“He needs a name,” she stated after minutes of gazing at her child._

_“What were you and his father thinking of?”_

_Marian shrugged, “What did you name your children?” she asked very suddenly._

_Regina’s mouth went dry at the question, “I never got to name my daughter,” she whispered, “But her father and I were thinking of Natalia,” she looked down at her hands._

_Marian’s mouth dropped, “Natalia?” she murmured, flashes of the little girl she knew skittered through her mind, she gaped at the Queen, she couldn’t assume that Natalia was the Queen’s child, but the looks, the gestures, “You don’t meet many Natalia’s,” she said._

_Regina shook her head, “Her name mean’s Christmas, in my father’s tongue,” a soft smile appeared on her face, “It was her father’s, my… it was his favourite time of year,” there was a soft smile on her face, she was probably thinking of better times._

_“What about your other child?” she asked._

_Regina coughed and looked up, Marian had a somewhat guilty look on her face, “Caspian, I named him Caspian. His father knew a lot about other lands, apparently it was a sea, the sea named Caspian.”_

_Marian nibbled on her lip and with hope she asked of the paternity of the children._

_Regina shook her head, “No, they both have different fathers, Daniel, Natalia’s father, he died before he could meet her, and in all honesty I wouldn’t be surprised if she, too, was dead. Caspian’s father was a King, one from a faraway land that only few were allowed to enter.”_

_Tears pierced Marian’s eyes, it must be the same Daniel and Natalia that she knew, they were Regina’s family, “Regina,” she spoke softly, her mouth opened again to tell her that she may know her family, she could stop the death and pain going through the kingdom, but she stopped herself, she quickly snapped her mouth shut, “Just so you know, I am your friend,” she said instead with a soft smile at the Queen’s wondrous look._

_Regina smiled through her tears, “Thank you.”_

_There was silence for long moments before Regina finally spoke again, “What about Roland?” she asked, “Came from a story my father once read to me, Roland was once a great and valiant Hero.”_

_“Roland,” Marian tried out, “Roland,” she grinned, “I think it’s wonderful.”_

**0o0**

“Roland,” she said again, this time the name rolled off her tongue in a familiar gesture, “I was the one who named you, Roland,” she said looking at the young lad.

He looked at her in wonder, “Really?” he asked in amazement.

Regina nodded “Really.”

Before anything else could be said a knight ran into the dining hall.

“Your Majesty,” he called, eyes wide and panicked, “I couldn’t believe my eyes, there was no way he could be here.”

“What are you babbling on about?” Regina snapped.

He swallowed thickly, “There is someone here to see you,” he said breathily.

“Well then, Bring them in!” she stood with her cup in hand.

The knight nodded his head, his eyes somewhat unseeing as he left the dining hall and then walked back in with a man and two woman following him.

Upon the sight of the man Regina dropped her cup, tears shot right out of her eyes, “Daddy?” she asked childishly.

Her heart hurt so much.


	6. Weak

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kinda short but i felt it was also kinda angsty

**Weak**

**0o0**

_She could still feel the ghost of his thin scaly fingers gripping her delicate neck, the moistness of his cool breath against her cheek, and the words penetrating her ear, her heart,_ **her soul** _._

**_The heart of the thing you love most_ ** _, he had told her._

_Regina marched around the forest in anger, she refused to go home to her father, to the thing she loved most, she refused to go to the castle and kill him. She can’t._

_She won’t._

_As dark as she was, her father was the only thing she had left, she couldn’t kill him, not for something as meek as a curse. His life was far too precious. He didn’t deserve this, didn’t deserve a daughter that was as dark as her, he deserved to be happy and not watching Regina turned more and more into the woman he despised by her excessive use of magic. He was a kind and gentle man, a loving father who had taught her so much, her mother had already ruined him; he didn’t deserve to die at her hand._

_He deserves better._

_Regina sat on a log in the forest and shut her eyes tightly, she knew what she was and she knew that there were powers far greater than her at play, she knew more than people – especially Rumpelstiltskin – gave her credit for, and this curse; it was a point of no return._

_Maleficent’s words rang in her ears; a hole in her heart. Would it really change much about her if she had yet another hole in her battered dark little heart? Probably. Yet deep in her soul she knew there was no turning back for her, she had lost so much and gained so little, she had suffered at the hand of faith and had been battered and bruised by love._

_Was there anything left for her?_

_She wondered for a moment if she had anyone else to consider, but with an ache in her soul and in her womb she remembered that she lost all._

_There was nothing left for her._

_And her father, kind as he was, had never truly done his duty as a father, he had let her suffer and the hand of her mother, let her lose the things she cared about and let her be taken by a man even older than himself. Her father was of a kind soul, but he had no spine._

_She still couldn’t stomach killing him._

_Out of all the people she had murdered by a feeble wave of her hand, twitch of the nose, raise of an eyebrow, there was nothing stopping her from killing her father._

_Yet there was._

_He was her father, this man that had held her during her nightmares, who had consulted her when her children were lost, the man that had been there for her when she was losing herself in the power. He was scared, she could tell, of her, yet he still stood by her side and held her hand when she was at whit’s end._

_Regina swallowed hard and stood in a flourish of robes and material, having pitied herself for long enough, the Queen returns back to her castle, the familiar grip of her smoke surrounds and shifts her somewhere else, she appears in the hall to her room, and the mirror appeared alongside her._

_“Did you find something, Your Majesty?” he asked quickly, smoke was still dissipating around her._

_“Yes,” she said, “I need you to find out if my father ever had a true love,” she said blankly as she walked to her chamber._

_“Regina,” her father greets._

_“Daddy,” she says to him. Regina wordlessly sat by a table and made her chess set appear, she and her father carved each pawn, queen and knight together, they would sneak off to where her mother had a chess set brought from a wonder land, each piece heavy and marble moulded with care and precision. They both spent months trying to copy each soft carving and took great care in hiding the pieces away from Cora who believed such practices as wood carving were below her daughter who was born to be queen. She silently sorted the blacks and whites in their places, black for her, “Play with me,” she said softly._

_Henry watched his daughter for a moment, she was so good at being like Cora, at hiding her emotions, but unlike Cora, he could tell what she was really feeling, he knew his baby girl well enough to know that something was bothering her. He walked over to the chess board and sat down opposite her. He was a coward, had been her entire life, first he would hide and cower from her mother, he would turn a blind eye when his baby was hurt, it seemed as though old habits do indeed die hard since he wouldn’t ask her out of fear._

_“Whites always start,” she murmured._

_Henry looked at the pieces for a moment and then quickly moved his pawn on the left two step forward. Regina made a mirror move with her horse. Henry moved the pawn next to the one already out one step forward. Regina moved her other horse. They played silently for only a few minutes before Regina was placing a tower a few places before his King and grinning._

_“Check.”_

_Henry chuckled while moving his King away, it was only a couple moves later that Regina was grinning again with checkmate on her lips._

_“Well done, my darling, it seems you’ve finally out played the teacher,” he smiled remembering the first time he sat with her to teach her how to play; she ended up using the chess pieces to re-enact a story she had made up._

_“Thank you, daddy,” she smiled softly at him, it was rare to see her do that, she hadn’t smiled since Caspian, not a true smile, usually they were twisted with vicious eyes. Henry looked down at the board between them._

_Regina stood, “I’ll see you later for dinner daddy,” she walked out the room, her eyes red with the strength she used to keep the tears at bay. She marched her way into the library where she spent the time reading about hearts._

**0o0**

_“Your Majesty?” Mirror appeared._

_Regina looked up to acknowledge his presence._

_“I’ve found something,” she waited for him to continue, “Before he married your mother, there was a Lady Dominique, Henry had requested to Marry her, she was a lady, Prince Henry had met her at a ball when his brother Ronald married Heather, Heather and Dominique are friends to this day still,” he said._

_Regina nodded, “Is she alive?”_

_“Yes, Your Majesty.”_

_“Is she married?”_

_“No, Your Majesty, although she was, she has a child, Clarissa.”_

_Regina nodded, “Get the Knights; tell this Dominique that I request her presence.”_

_The head ducked down in a bow, “Of course, I’m right on it, My Queen.”_

**0o0**

_It took Lady Dominique and her daughter one day to get to the castle, Regina had ordered for her knights to leave them in the council room, she wanted to surprise her father._

_Through the night Regina had not slept once, she had tried to organise the mess that was her brain that night. Her heart **hurt** , she loved her father, despite his weak will against her mother she loved him dearly; he was the only person who hadn’t left her or stopped loving her since she turned into the Evil Queen. She wouldn’t be shocked if it turned out that the only reason he hadn’t left her was due to fear of what she may do… She loved her father. _

_She wished it took something else to get the curse to work, she didn’t want to choose between her father and a new start; but then again, she didn’t really want to carry on living her life in this land._

_Her answers came by reading the ingredient for the curse. It specified that she must **give up** the thing she loved most, her father was the only person alive that she had left to love. She knew she showed that love in a weird way but she still loved him, with her whole heart._

_“You asked for me, my dear?” her father asked walking into her library._

_Regina turned to look at him, “Yes,” she spoke confidently when in reality she wanted to curl into his side, as she would when she was a child, and listen to his voice as he sang to her in the tongue of his land, “Can you wait for me in the council room, I know what I have to do to enact the curse,” she said._

_Henry smiled at her and nodded before disappearing._

_Regina hated Rumpelstiltskin, she hated him so much. If he hadn’t helped Snow and betrayed Regina then she could have had her revenge without losing her father._

_Was this curse even a way to win? Could she even be the winner when no one is there to love her? She has no one to love either. Maleficent had made it clear, very clear, that there would be a hole in her heart. The thing that Mal didn’t know was that the hole was already there, getting bigger and bigger with each day, each breathing moment was a reminder of how alone she was. She wouldn’t win if she casts the curse, but she’s never won anything so there’d be no difference, and Regina would be lying if she said she didn’t want Snow White to suffer, she would enjoy watching that._

_She supposes that the only downside would be manoeuvring through this new land without her father’s guidance and love._

**0o0**

_For a long moment she just stood there before the door and watched the way he looked at the woman. Regina had never seen her father look at anyone with such adoration, such passion… such love. It pulled at her heart strings. He marvelled at the young girl beside the woman, she was pretty with innocent blue eyes and dark, sandy yellow hair. She looked a lot like her mother, apart from the hair, her mother’s hair was a light sort of brown; it almost looked red._

_Regina looked at them, watched how they all fit together perfectly, without her, she knew that once she made her presence known the happiness would leave them all, fear would go through the women and disappointment would burn bright in her father’s warm honey brown eyes._

_Her heels clicked as she entered the room. As predicted the women cowered behind Henry, he didn’t have disappointment in his eyes, it was something different, wonder maybe, something else?_

_“You brought them here?” he asked slowly._

_Regina nodded once._

_Henry took a somewhat defensive stance, Regina’s heart broke a little at the protectiveness he took to the women, why had he not been like that when she was a child? Why had he not stepped up when her child was being taken away from her? What was wrong with her, what made him love those women more?_

_“Why?” he asked softly._

_“Because I’m going to cast the curse,” she said as evenly as she could._

_Henry frowned._

_“To enact it I need the heart of the thing I love most.”_

_Realisation flooded his eyes, “Me.”_

_Regina nodded, “Yes.”_

_“Regina,” he stepped closer to her, “My dear, please, you don’t have to do this.”_

_“I have to do something,” she insisted._

_“You can move past this,” he spoke softly, “I know this may sound self-serving but you don’t need to enact the curse.”_

_“But I can’t live like this,” The Queen hissed, she took a calming breath so that she could have a more civilised conversation with her father, “Daddy,” she started of more softly, “What Snow took from me, it’s what mother took from you,” she looked behind him at the women who was holding her daughter tightly to her._

_Henry didn’t say anything, he glanced behind him to the women he had once loved, and still loves, and her child._

_“I understand now,” Regina spoke again forcing him to look at her, “Why you never protected me from mother, it’s because she kept you away from the life you really wanted, from the life that you deserved, it was your own personal revenge,” she said._

_Henry was shaking his head, “I love you very much,” his voice was tight, and tears were forming in his wise eyes._

_Regina nodded, “I know, I love you too.”_

_After a moment of silence where they both looked at each other, Henry spoke up, “What does any of **this** have to do with the curse?” he asked. _

_“I’m going to give you the life that you deserved,” the Queen walked closer to him, “I’m going to make sure that you’re happy by taking away the biggest of your burdens,” he frowned in confusion at her, “Me,” she finished off, at the same time she plunged her hand into his chest and pulled his heart out._

_Henry gasped as the organ was resting in the hands of his child, Regina was very tender and delicate with it in her hand, even though she was speaking some sort of spell, mumbling something that had him frowning._

_Once the spell was finished Regina put the heart back into his chest and stood beside her father as he coped with his heart being returned to him. She felt guilty but it had to be done, she procured a chalice of water for him, one she had left out in the library earlier, it had the final touch to the spell. The memory potion._

_Henry wouldn’t meet her eye, it could be disappointment, it could be hatred; she wasn’t sure. It was something that made a feeling of dread build in the pit of her stomach. She hated that he was looking at anything but her._

_With a heavy heart she handed him the water, “Drink this, it will make you feel better,” she said softly._

_As Henry was drinking the memory potion water, Regina made a table appear and gave the mother and daughter a water too, “Here, drink up.”_

_They grabbed the water hesitantly but drank it out of fear._

**0o0**

_She stared of at the pit, dark smoke curling upwards into the sky, the spell was not yet complete, she still had to give up the thing she loved most, the purpose of doing that was so she could go to this new land with a hole in her heart, she had her heart in her hand and a knife in the other._

_Steadily, the Evil Queen raised the knife to her heart and started carving a hole into it, it hurt, more than she expected it to, but she pushed through it to create the hole in her heart, already mapped out when she gave her father up. She hoped it would work otherwise she might have to kill her father, or she might die (she wasn’t really against the last option)._

_She swallowed thickly, her father was now happy with his ‘ **wife** ’ and ‘step-daughter’, he was happily living the life that he should have always had. Instead of marrying an evil woman and having an equally evil child._

_Regina took a deep breath in once she finished, the dust was already there, piled inside. She tilted her heart over the flame letting it sprinkle into it, it roared up higher and the smoke turned purple instead of grey, it got thicker and larger, eating up her land._

_Yes, her curse had worked._


	7. What it Takes to be a Parent

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for the nice reviews, they really do make me want to write for y'all.  
> Also the plot starts to thicken after this chapter and everything starts to get even more interesting :D :D

**What it takes to be a Parent**

**0o0**

**THEN**

_She could not breathe, how was he here? Why was he here? Regina couldn’t stop staring at him, he wasn’t supposed to be here, he was supposed to be happy and away from here, far away, she had expected to never see him again._

_She couldn’t think of anything to say so she just stared at him, her mouth wide open, she looked more like a child rather than a queen. Her tea was dripping from the table onto her dress, the mug she dropped softly sloshing the remaining liquid around as it rocked on the table. Her eyes were focused solely on her father; he hadn’t changed, not that much, barely at all. The same fluffy white hair with the same brown eyes she’s forced to see in the mirror every day, and the same bushy eyebrows. Although he looks happier, less burdened._

_He must have been happy without her._

_He bowed, “I’m sorry, Your Majesty, to drop onto you like this,” Regina made a noise, half squeal half sob; she hated when he called her that, it was another reminder that she stopped being his little girl when after she killed the king, he would never look at her the same way he used to, not after murder became easy for her, not after everything she had lost._

_“My name is Henry; I was the 6 th son of King Xavier. I’m here with my wife, Dominique, and my daughter, Clarissa, we-”_

_Regina stopped listening after he introduced his ‘daughter’, she moved her seat back and started walking out. The way he had looked at Clarissa, it was a look she had never been on the receiving end of. She knew that her father loved her, but there was that burning hatred he had for her mother that seemed to limit that love he held, it didn’t help that she had a lot of Cora in her. She barely remembered what it felt like for her father to look at her with pride and love. She couldn’t take it, she left._

_“I’ll take it,” Scar said, running after her._

_“Henry, I’m Princess Snow, The Queen isn’t very receptive to new people, I’m sorry,” Snow stepped forward, she shot a look of concern towards the door where Regina rushed off to._

_“Oh, it’s quite alright, thank you,” Henry replied in kind._

_“How can we be of service?” Maleficent asked._

**_0o0_ **

_Once Maleficent and Snow had Henry and his family settled, Snow, Charming, Maleficent, Zelena, Hugh, Daniel and Scar met in a council room._

_“Are you sure she’s not in the castle?” Snow sighed._

_“You don’t know what Regina is like when she’s in pain,” Mal spoke in frustration, it’s been about 30 minutes since Regina had left, “She’s irrational, especially when hurt.”_

_“I can use magic to find her,” Zelena offered._

_Scar was shaking his head, “No need, mirror could just show us.”_

_The man in question turned up in the large mirror on the far wall._

_“You called,” he said._

_Scar jumped, “I fucking hate him,” he hissed._

_“As does Regina, she won’t appreciate us spying on her,” Mal insisted, “I’ve known Regina the longest, and the best, she’s probably doing something she doesn’t want her loved one seeing,” her bright eyes flicked to Daniel, “She will **not** appreciate this.”_

_“But we must make sure that she’s okay,” Snow said in an overly worried tone._

_Mal rolled her eyes, “Regina is a big girl; she’s more than capable of getting herself out of sticky situations.”_

_Snow frowned, “That’s not what I mean, you just said she’s irrational when hurt, we must make sure she doesn’t do anything.”_

_This time it was Scar rolling his eyes, “You just want to make sure that she didn’t kill anyone,” he all but hissed out._

_Zelena nibbled on her lip, “I agree with these two Snow, we can’t just go around invading Regina’s privacy, we must have faith in her,” she smiled as reassuringly as she could, her husband nodding beside her._

_“Daniel?” Snow asked, “She is the mother of your child.”_

_Daniel looked from Zelena to the princess, “I haven’t known Regina is almost, over, forty years,” he shrugged._

_Just then the door burst open and in walked a tiny woman in green, “I heard that Regina’s father is alive,” Tinkerbell said with wide eyes, “How is that even possible?”_

_Mal rolled her eyes, “Regina is weak to love; she wouldn’t **kill** the only person who loved her.”_

_“He doesn’t though,” Hugh said, all faces turned to him, “Well, I mean, he didn’t know who she was, that’s why she stormed out, he looked at her as everyone else does, with fear and rejection.”_

_“We need to see what she’s doing,” Tink suddenly called out._

_“Agreed,” Snow shouted quickly, “Mirror, would you please…”_

_The genie rolled his eyes, “Naturally, **Your Majesty**.”_

_David didn’t like the mockery in his tone._

_The image in the mirror fuzzed to show Regina’s blank stare._

_.::._

_“I didn’t think I’d see you here,” he said plainly._

_“I like to think in the woods, you know that,” Regina turned to him, “I didn’t expect you to be back with the fungi,” she smirked._

_Jefferson rolled his eyes, “What do you want? I thought the deal was that you find Grace, I give you the hat, and we both leave each other alone.”_

_“Well, that last part was never specified.”_

_He sighed, “I’m getting this odd sense of Déjà vu here,” he leaned back against a cabinet with his arms folded._

_“Yes, I suppose,” she walked to the little makeshift kitchen and directed a fireball at a kettle, “I have an awful headache,” she said preparing herself some tea._

_He sighed again, this woman knows no boundaries, “What are you doing here?” he asked again._

_“I thought that since you scavenge the woods searching for mould you may have encountered some good tea too, so here I am,” she said while searching through the cabinets looking for said item._

_Jefferson huffed, “And the real reason…”_

_She stopped all movement, “I needed to get out of the castle,” she said softly._

_Sensing the change in her tone, Jefferson stood up straight and took a step to her, “What happened?” he asked softly._

_“Sugar?” she asked instead, she was too focused on the tea and mugs._

_“Two,” Jefferson answered, “Regina…” he prompted after a few moments of silence from the woman._

_“My father.”_

_He frowned._

_“He’s in the castle… with the family I gave him, with his true love and that stupid blonde... Ugh!”_

_He chuckled, “Are you pissed because there’s a blonde involved or because of that little possessiveness inside you.”_

_“No. Possessiveness would be snapping that frail neck of the little **Barbie** huddling up to **my** true love,” she hissed throwing a cloth onto the makeshift counter. _

_Jefferson smirked, “Have you?”_

_“Well, between saving your daughter and my father appearing about an hour ago, I’ve been lying in bed licking my wounds.”_

_His eyebrow rose, he stood in front of her, “Oh?”_

_She smirked up at him, “Yes, speaking of licking…” she turned and took a step towards him._

_“And that explains why you’re here.”_

_“Always,” she threw him a flirty smile, with each word they got closer together._

_“I have a daughter.”_

_“So do I.”_

_“Mine actually talks to me.”_

_“Low blow, Jefferson.”_

_“Below the belt?”_

_“What I’m hoping for.”_

_His lips smashed to hers and he walked her to a wall, pinning her between it and his body._

_.::._

_The image faded, the sound of Regina’s moans still reflecting off the walls._

_“Well, that explains that,” Mal said with a smirk._

**0o0**

**NOW**

She rolled her eyes even harder, if that was possible, she felt like she had the same thoughts on repeat when she was around this woman, but once again Rose was acting like her mother and being all controlling and ugh! She couldn’t believe the nerve of that woman, especially her father, who did nothing, he just let her do whatever she wanted because he was so blinded by his jealousy towards whatever her mother was doing with Jeffery… Jason? ... Jensen? (Her father briefly mentioned what had happened when they were searching for her). His name didn’t matter, but her mother had mysteriously disappeared and had not returned or she was avoiding them all for some reason… again. Natalia wouldn’t put it past her mother, she was incredibly good at avoiding people.

Having decided that she had enough of her father and _Rose,_ Nat decided to go for a walk, it was about time that she get away from the couple.

Seeing Marian also standing and leaving the dining hall, Nat called to her father that she was going to help Marian and ran off.

“Hello you,” Marian smiled at her.

“Hey, what are you going to do today?” Nat asked. Marian was the only motherly figure in her life and despite the fact that she wanted her mother more than she could imagine, Nat also wanted to keep Marian by her side. The guidance and love she had received from the maiden was something that she held close to her heart, she taught her things that a mother should have.

“Well, I was hoping to do some of Roland’s laundry, Robin is on babysitting duty for the moment,” she smirked at the young girl.

“Do you think I could come with you? I have some of my own things I would like to clean as well,” she should probably bring some of her father’s things but he was far too interested in Rose to even bother about the fact that he smells of horse manure.

“The pleasure would be all mine, darling,” the maiden’s arm wrapped around Nat’s shoulders and she pulled her in closer as they went to retrieve their dirty clothes.

.::.

“There’s a stream I saw the Queen’s maids use a couple days ago,” Marian said.

Nat nibbled on her lip, “Did you talk to them?” she asked as she followed the path Marian showed her.

“The maids?” she received a nod, “I did, they told me about the stream and they also told me that the Queen wouldn’t mind if Robin and I used one of the rooms, they said something about her wanting to talk to me but she had been occupied avoiding everyone.”

“Did you talk a lot about my mother with them?”

Marian stopped walking, “Natalia,” she turned to look at the girl, “I know that you’re frustrated,” Nat started shaking her head, “No darling, I know, I can see it on your face, I know that you’re frustrated that your mother won’t talk to you but you have to see this from her perspective also.”

“And what’s her perspective?” she sniffled, “I’m her daughter, we’ve been here for almost a month and still the only interaction I’ve had with her was when she took me to my room,” her eyes narrowed.

Marian dropped her laundry, it was wrapped around an old sheet, the sheet unfolded when it hit the floor, “If Robin moved on with someone else, and Roland grew up knowing of me only through stories I’d be scared that they didn’t need me anymore, they didn’t need me before. You, Natalia Colter, are a beautiful young girl that is so lovely and righteous, the Queen had done nothing into building this wonderful young woman, and especially with her dark past, I’m sure she’s worried that somehow her darkness would tarnish you, you must give her some more time, and if time doesn’t work, talk to her yourself.”

Natalia nodded, “Mills.”

The maiden frowned, “What?”

“I’m Natalia Mills, like my mother,” she smiled softly.

“Okay, Miss Mills,” they smiled brightly at each other.

**0o0**

It was still far too early to face this world, to face these people… her father… her little episode, the tears had been close to falling and she was just too shocked to speak, her chest had been hurting and her surrounding had vanished as her sole focus was her father.

A father that didn’t even remember her.

She was embarrassed by that, she had shown weakness to people who hated her, she had shown weakness because she had let her father live, a father who didn’t even love her quite as much as he does his new daughter.

Regina sighed, it was one thing to show weakness in front of her father, despite his lack of memories, but another to show weakness to a room full of her subjects and enemies, or ex enemies. Whatever these people were to her, she should have been stronger.

The Queen leaned over the table to reach for her wine, god she needed that, after her little rendezvous with Jefferson she probably should not be drinking, especially since she and Jefferson had done nothing _but_ drink, well, amongst other things. It was a good way of taking her mind off of what was happening back at the castle. And it was nice, his daughter had been with her parents from Storybrooke for the week and Jefferson’s sole focus was on doing wicked things to her. She’s still pleasantly sore.

“Regina,” Maleficent sat down beside the Queen, “Nice to see you have returned. What have you been up to these past few days?” the dragon smirked knowingly.

“Maleficent, I feel rejuvenated, twenty years younger, at least,” she brought her chalice up so Mal could clink it with hers.

“Oh really?” the dragon raised an eyebrow.

“Of course, my dear, even the crick in my back is gone, can you believe it?” her maid set the Queen’s plate down before her, lifting the dome to reveal a healthy meal.

Mal’s smirk grew, “Hmm, wonders never cease. My dear, you have an interesting bruise on your neck.”

Regina’s hand flew to the back of her neck where she remembered Jefferson sucking on before she left.

Mal chuckled, “Well, that gives an interesting insight on what you were doing.”

In reply Regina just winked making Mal chuckle a little more.

They talked while the rest of the peasants made their way in for dinner and the food was finally placed ready for the feast.

“What is my father doing here?” Regina asked when she spotted him sitting with his family, he was on the inside of the U shaped tables, coincidentally facing her daughter. They weren’t that far away from the Royal table, Regina sat at the very middle but she could hear that her father was getting to know the people around his table, at the moment he was asking what young Roland’s hobbies were.

“The simian beasts had attacked his home, they had apparently destroyed all the crops in their town and then made a move on his estate,” Mal supplied.

“And he’s here for safety,” Regina finished. Mal nodded.

After a few minutes Regina spoke again, “We must send out parties to find the beasts, I want one,” she said loudly.

“You _want_ a flying monkey,” Snow asked in a mocking tone.

“Attitude!” Regina snapped, it was out of habit, being back at the castle with Snow White, she felt like she must still play Royal Mummy to the, now adult, princess, “And I only want one so that I could trace it back to whoever is creating them.”

“You think someone is making flying monkeys?” The thief asked, who even invited him to this conversation.

“Well they sure as hell aren’t closely related to the average bird by _nature_ ,” she snarked.

“Why would someone make these… these monsters?” Rose called out from where she was seated.

Regina rolled her eyes, she fucking hated blondes, “I don’t know, Dorothy pissed off a wicked witch from Oz then ran here, I don’t even know her name… his name… how am I meant to know their story,” she shouted out in exasperation, was it because the woman asking the question was blonde or Daniel’s girlfriend, who knows?

“How do we know it wasn’t you?” The grumpy one shouted.

“Because a. I don’t make monkeys… with wings, and B. I get bored easily, waiting around for my simian army to piss off the person I hate would take forever; I’d tire of it quickly.”

She’s pretty sure that Growly dwarf made a comment about her missing the smell of blood or something along the lines, but she couldn’t be too sure before someone started talking again; “These attacks have also been happening for a while,” Aroura stated, “It couldn’t have possibly been her, she wasn’t in this land when they first took place.”

Regina looked at the princess, she gave her a curt nod for the defence and then went back to her food.

It was halfway through the meal, everyone was silently talking amongst themselves; Regina would every now and then look at her daughter and true love… ex true love. She caught sight of how her daughter would scowl at her father after every small gesture he made towards the blonde smiling foolishly in his arms, although she seemed very interested in what her grandfather had to say. Does the girl even know who that man is to her? The one making her laugh and talk with her mouth full. Her father was making the girl forget that she should be glaring at Daniel and his… whatever that women was to him, and if Henry did catch the glares he would just shake his head as he would when she spoke with her mouth full of food.

Regina could remember her father doing that to her, he had never raised his voice at her but he always had this look of disapproval when she would be unkind to her mother or a suitor her mother had sent her way. She wondered if he would ever do that to Cassy… Chloe? _What was that blonde’s name?_ Regina didn’t really care, with a resolute nod she stabbed some lettuce onto her fork and shoved in in her mouth, with grace of course, she was a Queen.

“Regina!” The Queen’s head shot up, she know that voice, it was her father, “Mi pequeña princesa, slow down, the chicken won’t run away if you pause to talk without food in your mouth,” Henry chuckled.

Natalia looked at him funny and then she shot her mother a look, a questioning one, Regina could just about see it through her tears, she was acutely aware of the pain in her heart and she couldn’t do anything about it.

The Queen stood to leave, her heels tapping violently against the ground as she hurried to leave, she was at the very middle of the hall when she turned and looked directly at her daughter.

“Come with me,” said the Queen.

Natalia sat for a second blinking through the shock of her mother actually talking to her, once the initial shock disappeared, she didn’t need to be told twice. The young girl rushed out of her seat murmuring apologies while shuffling to get to her mother.

Regina turned towards the door as she waited for her daughter so come stand by her, she felt the girl bump into the back of her coat and rustle the material, she glanced down at her, Nat’s eyes were shining with hope and love and Regina couldn’t understand why. Why would this girl love such a monster when there was a prospect of having a mother that was a hero? Despite the fact that Rose pissed Regina off just by breathing, she was a good example that her daughter could follow.

Regina shook herself out of the thought and grabbed her child’s hand, with a blink of an eye they were gone. The purple smoke cuddling around them both as they disappeared and appeared in Regina’s chamber.

Regina stood for a second thinking of what she could say to the girl.

Nat looked around the room, it was quite simple; there was a carpet around the bed, long dark drapes around the windows and balcony, her bed was big, it was probably the size of 4 of the biggest tents at the camp. There was a fire at the corner of the room, and in front of it was a chaise longue, a furry carpet, a table, and a large – rather dramatic – chair, Nat walked over to the Chaise lounge and sat down. Her mother followed her but didn’t stop her pacing. 

What was she supposed to say to this girl, if it were Henry she’d know, then again she had been the one to raise Henry. This girl, her daughter, she may look like Regina but she was not her daughter in the way that the Queen yearned. Regina knew nothing about her, she didn’t know how to comfort her and she didn’t know what she thought of her. She remembered Granny once told her that _with children you had to listen to your instincts and let go, be vulnerable for you child they don’t need to see a mask but a parent._

With a deep breath Regina knelt down in front of her and just looked at her precious baby girl, “You are so beautiful,” she said as she stroked her daughter’s soft round cheek. She did look a lot like Regina when she was that age, it was almost as if she came out of a painting, and god knows it’s possible since she has plenty of painting her mother had of her hidden in a room in the castle.

Regina’s eyes filled with tears finally allowing herself to just _look_ at her child, _really_ look. She had sad blue eyes, and they were looking up at her, gazing into brown pools of bronze and copper, “I’m so sorry,” she said suddenly, for a second Regina wondered why she said that but then her mind caught up with itself and she continued, still looking at her daughter, “I’ve failed you, I should have been your mother and I failed to protect you from my mother, I let her take you away, I’m so sorry,” she pulled her daughter in hesitantly and kissed her temple, “I love you, so much, you’re my little baby girl,” they pulled back, Nat’s eyes were brimming over with tears and she sniffled a little, “You’re so precious, and so, so beautiful,” she wiped a stray tear from her cheek.

That’s what it took for Natalia to throw herself into her mother’s arms, tears steadily streaming down her face as she almost knocked her over, Regina managed to catch herself in time before they both tumbled to the ground. It felt good to hold her daughter in her arms again after almost 50 years of thinking that her baby was off living a life with parents who might not even love her.

“I love you so much, my little princess,” she whispered into her daughter’s hair, peppering kisses everywhere her lips could reach.

“I love you too, mama,” Nat whispered back, laying her head onto Regina’s shoulder.

**0o0**

_She huffed for what felt like the hundredth time, how long does it take to go to the summer palace, not that long, so why was it taking her fucking knights so long? Who knows?_

**_Cretins_ ** _, Regina though as the carriage bounced gently, she needed to update the piece of shit, since it was doing a fucking shitty job in keeping her wine in its goblet._

_Suddenly the carriage stopped and Regina frowned, which turned to an eye roll, do these imbecilic not understand that she was busy and working on a clock. She had to be at that palace she has a very important meeting with a Sinbad, she needed to be there on time or god forbid that crook steal something from her. Although, it’s the summer palace, all white columns and small rooms, nothing valuable in there, nothing like her actual palace. Large and intimidating with black shards pointing up into the sky, that’s where she stays in most of the time anyway. No point in moving around to a more comfortable place when she could just make herself comfortable using her magic._

_Deciding that they had been standing off the side of the road for long enough, Regina bangs open the carriage door and climbs out, “ **And what** might we have here?” she says strutting to the front of the carriage where her Knights were standing._

_“Your Majesty,” one of them stutters out._

_Regina glanced down to see a small child sitting on the ground, her hair a little mess and small sniffles can be heard coming from her._

_The Queen’s head snaps to the coachman, “What did you do?” she hisses._

_“She was lying on the road, I just stopped the carriage, I did nothing to the girl,” The Coachman stuttered out._

_Regina kneeled down to be eye level with the child, “Hello dear,” she said softly, no matter how bad she is as the Evil Queen she could not hurt a child, “Hey, It’s alright, I won’t hurt you, I want to help,” she reassured softly._

_The little girl looked up and Regina gasped, this child looked like she had when she was younger, the girl couldn’t be more than ten years old, her hair black and braided messily, she was wearing peasant clothes and her face had dirt all over it, her little nose smudged with it. For Regina it felt like she was looking at a painting from the Mills Estate, ones her mother had used her magic to immobilise Regina with so she wouldn’t move as the Court Painter used soft brush strokes to get each curve of her young face and posture._

_The little girls blue eyes sparkled, “Will you really help me?” she asked softly, tears leaking out her eyes._

_Regina smiled softly with a nod, “What happened?”_

_“I was playing with my friends and I fell, but I fell funny because my foot hurts,” she stuck out said foot with a sad pout._

_Is that the pout that Regina’s father talks about often, the one that would get her out of trouble as a child? Regina shook herself out of her thoughts and instead focused on her child. No, not her child, there was no confirmation that this little girl was her little girl (Except for the same face shape and same nose and lips, and she had Daniel’s eyes, and well ears as well, and his smile, although the pout was all her)._

_“Can you move it up and down?” she placed her hands on her foot after sliding the shoe off, it was an ugly shoe; tattered and big._

_The little girl frowned in concentration, her little tongue peeking out, she moved her foot only a couple inches down in a shaky motion before tearing up again and shaking her head, “It hurts!” she whined._

_“It’s okay darling,” Regina felt around the ankle to see if she could feel something broken in there, she winced when she did, “You broke your ankle,” the Queen muttered._

_The girl gasped in fear, “Will it get better?” she worried her lip._

_Regina smiled as reassuringly as she could at the girl, “Well, in time,” the girls face fell, “That’s nothing a little magic can’t fix,” she smirked as the girl looked at her in wonder._

_“Magic?” she asked, “Daddy says magic is bad,” she cowered away a little._

_Regina grabbed her hand and slowly pulled her closer so that the girl was huddled to Regina’s chest, “Well, it can be, but that depends on the person,” she smiled at her._

_“Do you use your magic for bad?” she asks._

_Regina looks down, “I do, sometimes,” she whispers._

_The child seems to not understand the gravity of the words and huddles closer to the Queen, “I don’t think you’re bad,” she smiled, “Who are you?”_

_“I’m the Queen,” she mutters as she concentrates on the magic to fix the little girls ankle._

_“My mummy’s a Queen, daddy says we’re not allowed to see her.”_

_Regina smiles at the little girl, once again her heart banging against her chest, this must be her daughter what other child’s mother is Queen and can’t be with them._

_Suddenly the little girl bounced up, “My foot is fine now, thank you,” she smiled brightly._

_Regina smiled back at her, “How about I help you find your daddy, I’m sure he’s worried about you,” she stuck her hand out for the girl to grab._

_She smiled and wrapped her hand around the Queen’s, “Thank you,” the girl said once again._

_“So, where’s your daddy?”_

_She frowned, “He had to come into the village to go talk with the blacksmith. Daddy’s a Stable Hand and one of the horsies need a new shoe, daddy came to fix it, and uncle Robin came too because he needs to give money to some people,” she smiled brightly, “They’re heroes,” she beamed._

_They walked hand in hand through the village for a few minutes in silence until the little girl pulled away and ran to a woman with brown hair, she was tall and carrying a basket._

_The woman gasped when she saw the little girl, “There you are, I’ve been looking all over for you, where did you go?”_

_“I went to play with the other children but I fell, I’m sorry,” the little girl looked down at the ground and kicked the sand beneath her feet._

_“It’s okay darling, you must tell me when you go, okay?”_

_She beamed again, “Okay. I made a friend, she’s a Queen,” she dragged the woman to Regina._

_Upon seeing the Queen the woman dropped to her knees, “Your Majesty,” she all but whimpered._

_“Rise,” Regina grumbled. She hated when peasants did that, it was awfully off-putting._

_“It’s okay, she helped me, she used **magic** to fix my foot,” the girl shouted gleefully. _

_“It was quite all right, she was hurt,” Regina muttered. She stood awkwardly for a moment, peasants walking by were gawking, Regina’s teeth jittered against each other, “I should go,” she knelt down in front of the girl, “I suppose this is good bye…” she stopped waiting for her name._

_“Natalia,” she smiled softly._

_Regina’s heart sped up a bit, “Well, that is an awfully beautiful name, fit for a beautiful young girl,” she petted her long raven hair, “I hope I see you again little light,” she smiled softly at the girl._

_Natalia nodded, “What about you?” she blurted._

_Regina frowned in confusion, “What about me?”_

_“Your name, what is it?”_

_“Oh, I’m Regina,” she smiled again, “Good bye,” and with that Regina disappeared in a cloud of purple smoke._

_Natalia’s mouth dropped open, this woman was her mother, the kind woman who helped her, that was her mother. Daddy had told her that her mother was called Regina and that she was the Queen that must have been her, they even looked alike._


	8. The Heart is a Lonesome Worrier

**The Heart is a Lonesome Worrier**

**0o0**

She slept so peacefully, her hair splayed on Regina’s pillow, her mouth hanging open a little and drooling. Regina couldn’t help but be entranced by her daughter sleeping; even if there was spit on her pillow now. She watched her chest rise and fall with each breath and it was calming, calming Regina in a way she hadn’t been since Daniel had died.

There was a brief moment where Regina had been calm. Back in Storybrooke with Henry, but that only lasted 10 years; it was not the same when he brought Emma back with him. He barely even acknowledged her as his mother after he got Emma, even after he had forgiven her, it felt as if she had wasted ten years on being a babysitter only for the saviour to swoop in and take the single most precious thing Regina had left in life.

It had hurt.

Regina swiped her hand down her face, she needed sleep; she was exhausted. Her little get away with Jefferson had not done her any help, she was still tired and stressed out. And the pain in her heart was multiplying with every self-loathing thought.

For a second Regina closed her eyes and went back to when she had picnics at Firefly Hill with Daniel, then she remembered where she was and where Daniel was and betrayal burned right through her core.

How could Daniel not have come to her? Of course she understood why he didn’t when Leopold was alive, if the King had found out that his new bride was not pure at all he would have killed all three of them. She wanted to know why he had not come to her after Leopold’s _tragic death_.

Surely he knew that she loved him beyond belief, that she would want to see their daughter, she needed his comfort, especially after Caspian had been taken away from her, she needed him through so much and he was off cavorting with outlaws, playing happy family with blondes.

Surely he knew that she loved him still?

Anger and betrayal boiled deep within the Queen’s soul, her breaths started coming out more panted and a pain jabbed at her heart from within.

It all fucking hurt.

She tried to calm herself down, breathing through the pain but her breathing was coming out in odd pants and her heart was doing weird loop in her chest. Why do bad things happen to good people? But then again Regina Mills was not good people, she was the epitome of bad people, she was darkness and she did not deserve that absolute sunshine that was her daughter sleeping peacefully on the massive bed. No, she deserved the sharp jolts that moved her heart.

Fucking Christ it hurt more than being electrocuted. Regina knew that there was something wrong with her heart, had thought it for a while. There were signs that told her, it was like every possible heart disorder that the land without magic had known of was happening to her. She sometimes smelt burnt toast or she felt tingles running up various parts of her body, sometimes she lost her breath by doing mundane things like getting out of bed or walking to her vanity, other times she felt as if her heart was convulsing in her chest, spasming and wrenching out painful jolts through her limbs. Like it just did.

Regina took a deep breath and shoved her hand into her chest ripping it out with gusto. It felt good, like taking away tension that was pressing down on her, it was almost relaxing. She held her heart in her hand and waited a few minutes as she evened out her breathing, rejoicing in feeling nothing after so long of feeling everything.

She had perfected the blank mask years ago when her mother would threaten her with more whips across her young back for each tear, and another hour in her hall of hearts for each emotion shown on her face, that didn’t mean that she felt nothing, she felt plenty. Plenty of anguish and loneliness; love and betrayal.

It was always odd taking her heart out, she didn’t feel but she did at the same time; it always unnerved her. She had once thought of doing what her mother had done, after she learnt to rip them out she thought that she would be able to do it to herself, but she had been weakened by her love for Snow White and wanted to be a mother the girl deserved, but Snow White couldn’t fill the infant sized hole in Regina’s heart, not after she was the reason it was there.

Later, when she was the Evil Queen, she also wanted to, she wanted to stop feeling the gut-wrenching pain of losing both her children and her true love. But she was the Evil Queen, her heart was what made her dangerous, she was going after Snow White because she _hated her_ , she hated how Snow had taken everything that mattered to Regina, her heart was the source of the hatred, but it was also the source to her love, for her nameless baby girl and her beautiful baby boy and also for Daniel, her love for them was what prevented her from becoming a cold shell of a woman like her mother had.

And she still felt that love for them when her heart was beating in a box instead of her chest, the magical heart was powerful, out of the body it dulled emotions that you felt when it was _inside_ the body, but it didn’t seem to dull the love she felt for her parents and her loved ones, it was always present, always teasing and torturing her.

Finally, having gathered the courage, Regina looked at her heart and gasped. She could still feel its dull ache. She didn’t know what she was expecting to see when she took it out, a lot of darkness? Yes. A few lights of red? Yes. The hole created by both Henrys’? Yes. An enormous crack running through the middle? No!

Regina had read about this, about people who had been through so much that their heart had quite literally broken, but she had never seen it in real life, only small sketches in spell books. But now, Regina looked at her small battered heart, it was almost all black, a few bright red spots dancing around, one of them flicking off and another flickering on, the little hole that allowed her to cast the curse, filled with black smoke for it was the worst thing she had done and that leaves marks, and then at the crack running down the middle. It was large, running down the length of the small black organ, it was emitting some light hue, she lifted her finger and delicately stroked the crack; just to be sure it was real. It bloody well was, and it fucking hurt. Out of curiosity Regina tipped it over so that the crack was facing the floor, and to her utter terror, dust flew out, enough dust to have filled the hole.

She chuckled bitterly, it was a long time coming, she knew. Her mother had told her that love was weakness, and in some way she was right, it was her weakness, it was her downfall, for her heart was broke and there is no cure for that, not for her at least, her days were numbered, they were now precious and she could not waste them.

Not when she was going to die soon.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
